This article is part of the Reading Time series.
Spider-Man pulls the horn off the ram with his shepherd's hook. He is the hurter and lover of all animals. I wonder if Mr. Zodiac hates him because he's part goat.
Peter is doing a love thing to the elderly. He is not being too firm. She is not a shark.
It is the Giant Flying Scales. They have come to attack Spider-Man because of the shark rape, and because of the elderly love thing with the mouth, and because of the ram horn, and because he was too busy with these things that he couldn't stop Mr. Zodiac from making "total destruction." The Flying Scales will make him pay.
Spider-Man must die now. It all makes sense to the Scales. Spider-Man is saying "I guess I blew it," because he knows nothing can stop the Robot Scorpion from eating the caveman boy and the elderly and Mr. Zodiac and everyone. The Robot Scorpion will pinch their waists until they become half-people.
This book tells us that you have to be careful about how you use your powers when you're a superhero, because the Giant Flying Scales are watching. I think the True Lesson they want us to learn is that when it's time for us to go Outside, we can't spend all our time doing love ways with sharks and goats and elderly. The end.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
Master is troll wizard, so's if he get angry he might cast spell up on my self and bite off my whole head in one chomp.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Kirk Cameron destroys the internet with his rage and jacks it to boats, hallelujah!
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Raised and trained in a mysterious facility, piteous brute Stevie seeks answers.