This article is part of the Reading Time series.
Spider-Man pulls the horn off the ram with his shepherd's hook. He is the hurter and lover of all animals. I wonder if Mr. Zodiac hates him because he's part goat.
Peter is doing a love thing to the elderly. He is not being too firm. She is not a shark.
It is the Giant Flying Scales. They have come to attack Spider-Man because of the shark rape, and because of the elderly love thing with the mouth, and because of the ram horn, and because he was too busy with these things that he couldn't stop Mr. Zodiac from making "total destruction." The Flying Scales will make him pay.
Spider-Man must die now. It all makes sense to the Scales. Spider-Man is saying "I guess I blew it," because he knows nothing can stop the Robot Scorpion from eating the caveman boy and the elderly and Mr. Zodiac and everyone. The Robot Scorpion will pinch their waists until they become half-people.
This book tells us that you have to be careful about how you use your powers when you're a superhero, because the Giant Flying Scales are watching. I think the True Lesson they want us to learn is that when it's time for us to go Outside, we can't spend all our time doing love ways with sharks and goats and elderly. The end.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Raised and trained in a mysterious facility, piteous brute Stevie seeks answers.