He-Man quickly climbs onto the Dragon Walker (hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!) and crosses an "impassable mountain gorge"(hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!), the word "impassable" of course meaning "easy to cross on foot" (hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!). He promptly reaches the North River and begins to implement his intensely clever plan, whatever the hell it may be.
By the magic of irrigation, I have the power of primitive dam construction! He-Man decides to toss a few rocks in front of the North River, causing it to divert and begin flowing towards the nefarious Snake Mountain. Of course the villagers depended on the North River to supply them with water, but hey, they can just get the retard in the bee suit to bring them a couple of buckets when they're low. I mean the guy can't be THAT busy getting beaten up by Skeletor's henchmen 24-7.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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