He-Man quickly climbs onto the Dragon Walker (hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!) and crosses an "impassable mountain gorge"(hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!), the word "impassable" of course meaning "easy to cross on foot" (hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!). He promptly reaches the North River and begins to implement his intensely clever plan, whatever the hell it may be.
By the magic of irrigation, I have the power of primitive dam construction! He-Man decides to toss a few rocks in front of the North River, causing it to divert and begin flowing towards the nefarious Snake Mountain. Of course the villagers depended on the North River to supply them with water, but hey, they can just get the retard in the bee suit to bring them a couple of buckets when they're low. I mean the guy can't be THAT busy getting beaten up by Skeletor's henchmen 24-7.
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.