He-Man quickly climbs onto the Dragon Walker (hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!) and crosses an "impassable mountain gorge"(hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!), the word "impassable" of course meaning "easy to cross on foot" (hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!). He promptly reaches the North River and begins to implement his intensely clever plan, whatever the hell it may be.
By the magic of irrigation, I have the power of primitive dam construction! He-Man decides to toss a few rocks in front of the North River, causing it to divert and begin flowing towards the nefarious Snake Mountain. Of course the villagers depended on the North River to supply them with water, but hey, they can just get the retard in the bee suit to bring them a couple of buckets when they're low. I mean the guy can't be THAT busy getting beaten up by Skeletor's henchmen 24-7.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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