Tell me how to put out a raging tire fire! Ask me what color the inside of a homeless man is! If you're ever wondering with wide eyes what incredible knowledge the forum goons have to share, visiting Ask/Tell is always a sobering experience. Holla at THESE SOCKS?

Ask me about killing someone in self defense - In case you haven't killed someone to save your own life, you can listen to Epic's story.

Tell me about successful relationships and high level raiding in WoW - Couldn't we all use advice balancing our girlfriends and our guilds? Admirably, Grrn isn't afraid to ask for it.

Throwing an orgy - Dr. Hez asks for suggestions on the proper etiquette when inviting others to an orgy.

Ask me about being a disgraced former Something Awful writer! - Greasnin chronicles his fall from glory, but I'm confident he's going to make it back to the top in Act 2.

Science, Philosophy & Education is where the smarty-farty-bo-barty cool kids like to post and think that they're so smart. Well, I've got news for them: They're not! Booya! QuantumCat's been kickin' it in there and holding it up for us.

Let me help you with accounting! - Ever wanted to know about the exciting world of accounting? Roshi set up a FAQ to cover the basics and answer your questions.

Tell me about doing undergrad research! - For students who plan to pursue a scientific carreer, or just want to get an hands-on experience in the lab, doing undergraduate research is often very rewarding. This thread gives some advice on what to expect, and how to make the best out of it.

If you've got a sliver of a creative bone in your body, you just might enjoy the company in Creative Convention. There are all kinds of dudes in there who draw, paint, write, and I think there was at least one pottery person at some point. Yeah, I know! Who does pottery anymore?! Peace up, A-town down, same.

Draw Like MAD All Through March - Going back to the basics of art, CC goons post some impressive drawings.

Creative Convention Fiction Contest: "Lying" - We had a contest, somebody won the big prize.

Burlesque anyone? - I don't care if people gave this a low gold rating because it is his girlfriend, there are a few nice quality Burlesque photos in here taken by "Gel"

I ate the biggest burrito I've ever seen today and I still feel bloated and sloth-like 6 hours later. That probably wouldn't have happened if I had cooked up something I found in Goons With Spoons. (It'd be worse.) See you at tha crossroads, kiteless.

Braised Lamb Shanks - Image of a Hero makes us drool on our keyboards as he braises some tender and delicious legs of adorable, fluffy, baby sheep.

I liked Ulta's beer bread recipe so much that I made a video about it. - Argyle shows us how to make forum user Ulta's impossibly simple beer bread in a fun and educational 2 minute video.

Once you've mastered the art of making your pets not die, you may want to move onto more advanced techniques such as making them not crap all over the place. The pet freaks in Pet Island are always around to help with that kind of unattainable voodoo. Po' it up, light_urple.

Pit bulls: bad or just misunderstood? - Actionjackson would like to know if pit bulls are really baby-eating monsters. This thread is full of lots of good information (if you can get past all the trolling…), and GobbleDeGook's post at the top of page 3 is especially interesting.

Chicago volunteers wanted for egg shaking - Too many geese in your local park? Try rounding up some volunteers to shake eggs or coat them with oil! WTF? Thanks for finding this, Calypso.

Meet my new millipede buddy and help me figure out what he needs! (pics!) - Yep, people like AlbinoHagfish keep millipedes as pets. They're like little walking hotdogs!

Free Puppies: How Stupid am I? - Freakboy2000 got in trouble for making a "free puppy" ad. In the thread we talk about the risks associated with this common practice.

Things you never thought you would say until you got a pet. TWO. - Second edition of stupid crap petowners say. Now with gems like "For the love of god, STOP LICKING YOUR EYEBALL!" and "Dammit Cat, under the table is not where we poop!"

More Forum Friday's Monday

This Week on Something Awful...

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