Ask me about desperation cooking - Greetings and Salutations Good Sirs. Gather round for today I will preach on matters metaphysical. Imagine yourself, portly but not yet obsese, acne-scarred but not yet repugnant, kicking back in your custom built gamers chair on a tuesday evening after a long afternoon of UNDERGRADUATE COURSEWORK, when that unbearable desire for consumption creeps into your thickening belly like the dull, throbbing pain of a festering subdermal pustule... or something equally disgusting that afflicts both Orc and Elf-player alike. Desperation sets in after a few short minutes, it being virtually impossible to abandon your Guildmates all willy-nilly while the raid is in full swing. You peer around the room and survey the possibilities. A packet of ketchup, a crusty Gummi Worm, a cup of water, 5 ounces of flour. Welcome to the Something Awful Desperation Cooking Dojo, I will be your Sensei.
Japan Megathread (All Japan questions go here) - It's a country, I think. People do silly stuff and make obnoxious noises a lot there. There's all kinds of gadgets and electronics probably. Oh... also there is the hope that pasty, aesthetic failures, male, aged 16-26 can somehow attract girls due solely to them being different. 879 replies, 28704 views, 22 pages.
Ask me about being a goat! - This SomethingAwful forum user likes to "eat soda can tabs and soda bottle rings", and it "freaked people out to a large degree". Luckily, included are some pictures of can tabs and bottle rings... in case you've forgotten. An allusion to self-diagnosis, a wikipedia link, a mention of blogging, and an endearing request to be called "Goat-Boy" fill out this emotional tour-de-force, a thread rivalled only by last months' "I cut all my hair and ate it and then blogged about it until I almost starved to death, or something" or the infamous "I'm a rational human being without any delusional misconceptions about myself or my surroundings" Sign up for a SomethingAwful forums account today!!!
~*~ Post Your Favorite ~*~
Reppin': Women's Rights?
Post the number of days it's been since the last time you got rugburn. Post what you think your cat has named you inside that cute little brain of his. Post your favorite Ghostbuster. Post your favorite picture of your mom dressed like a racial stereotype while holding a dog up by its hind legs.
Little things in life that make you happy - They say it's the little things that count after all.
Good news, everyone! The Futurama quote thread has returned from Tweenis 12 - There's honestly nothing new in here, I just like the title. FORUM FRIDAY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY, GOOD NIGHT!
*Another* .gif thread? You betcha! - Shamelessly stolen from GBS and moved to PYF because god dammit, we need the traffic.
Most Metal Song Titles - Goons listening to some frightening music if this is honestly the tiles of songs they enjoy. Although I suppose that they don't necessarily have to like the song to pick it as the most metal title.
~*~ General Bullshit ~*~
GBS is the forum where threads that don't quite fit anywhere else go. We already have lots of specialized subforums already though, so a large portion of what flows into GBS are threads like "I just pooped my pants at work today and I don't remember eating all that corn". Oh, and these:
Freddie Mercury, Dora the Explorer, and Smokey - If I wanted my kids to learn Spanish I'd turn off the damn TV and have my cleaning lady take care of them. Speak American Nickelodeon.
63 years ago on this hour... - I realized the other day that if you're going to tell a story about a Polish friend it's important that you start it off with, "This isn't a Polish joke..." so as to avoid confusion. Note: This is not necessary in Chicago or Warsaw.
My (brothers) big fat Mongolian wedding - Surprisingly, it's easier to marry into the Mongol Horde than it is marrying into a Greek family. Plus you get to call your child Son of Khan.
OUCH! Thats gonna hurt! - Page after page of pictures showing people seconds away from becoming mangled piles of bone and tissue! Almost as fun as the obituaries.
Add Something - To spite the thread title, no joke will be placed here.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
The Something Awful Forums: the last bastion of sanity on the Internet. "Forum Fridays" glances at some of the most interesting and popular threads from nearly each forum, highlighting a handful of threads each week.