~*~ Ask / Tell ~*~
Reppin': Elbonio

Ask me about being a Swinger, or "So Many Boobs, So Little Time...". A wise man once said that before you criticise someone you should walk a mile in his shoes. In this modern age we have no need for shoes so I suggest penetrating a mile into his wife, after you do so you can then criticise him if you so wish.

Tell me about your experiences with homeless people. As I turn up the collar on my favourite winter coat - this wind is blowin' my mind. I see the kids in the street with not enough to eat - who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs? A summer's disregard, a broken bottle top and a one man's soul - they follow each other on the wind ya' know? It's 'cause they got nowhere to go. That's why I want you to know - I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways.

Just FYI.

Tell Me About Modern Occultism. By the beard of Lucifa Morningstar! These virtual Ouija boards are all the rage and are really bringing our heathenpagangentile practices into the modern age. What say you to a can of pigs blood?

Tell me about trebuchets. The Trebuchet is the master siege unit in Age of Empires II.

~*~ Sports Argument Stadium ~*~
Reppin': Georgia Leech

Best-Drafting Team in the Expansion Era? - Take a gander at how amazing teams would be if free agency had never existed. Damn you, Curt Flood! How many lives must you ruin?

ALCS Discussion Thread - Tampa Bay vs. Boston - If you believe in either God or any sort of just world, you'll want Tampa Bay to win this series.

NLCS Discussion Thread - Philadelphia vs Los Angeles - Wait a minute, why is the pitcher coming up to bat? What? There's no designated hitter in the National League? Fuck this, I'm watching House reruns.

AFC West: The Anti-NFC East - Brought to you by SteelAngel2000 of "Dear Ed 'Guns' Hochuli" fame, take a look at the inner workings of the NFL's most boring division. How boring, you ask? Three of the four teams are known more for their coaches and owners than the product they put on the field.

Rules are fun! Let's all learn the fucking rules! - Don't quite understand the rules of football? Curious as to how things work? Then why the hell are you in a sports forum dominated by American posters? Go play soccer.

More Forum Friday's Monday

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.