In honor of Father's Day, this week we're going to take a look at God's gift to dads - dadrock.
Daryl 'Freaking' Hall is too soulful to qualify as dadrock.
Not to be confused with classic rock, dadrock is a very special niche of music. Dadrock is about the spirit of the '70s: The youthful exuberance of El Caminos, shitty weed, and Miller High Life. To put it most concisely, dadrock is the music dads listen to when they want to be reminded of the glory days of their youth, though it is probably more accurate to say "when they want to hazily reimagine their teenage years." It brings them back to a time when beer only cost like a quarter, a time before bills and wives and you goddamned kids took all of the fun out of their lives.
But our personal interactions with music are complex. For dadrock to work, it can't be simply sentimental and reminiscent - it has to transport dads back to that time. In order to accomplish this, it has to follow three rules:
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.