This message, vaguely in response to the Chris Cornell article, ranks as the second-longest I've received (outlengthed only by several random, unrelated-to-anything-I'd-written theses about the relative quality of Radiohead albums). However, in terms of craziness, it has no peer. I've Googled key phrases from it without finding it posted anywhere on the Internet, so apparently this scandal remains unearthed. Please, people, by all means, expose this. (Read bold only for abridged version.)
"I enjoyed your Cornell article. You are close, but you don't even know the half of it. The music sounds generic for good reason. This is a true story and relevant to recent events. Chris took something that poetically began as filet mignon and shoved it through the meat grinder and made cheap hamburger meat of it.
In the Da Vinci code the existence of a manuscript about Mary Magdalene was the premises for the entire novel. The seeds of creativity and cause for murder began within its pages. Life often has a way of imitating art and lately it seems some of the new Chris Cornell songs seem to be imitating a page out of a creative manuscript he was given a copy of last November.
As a mother and writer nothing ever surprises me, but as a long-time fan and conveniently disposed of street team member of Chris Cornell I am perplexed as to why a single creative question over a Magdalene manuscript seems to be the root of a bitter chain reaction. The censorship in the Cornell fan forum is becoming like censorship of Sesame Street. There have been incessant internal bickering and the fans aren't taking too kindly to their first amendment rights being compromised. I have a feeling the manuscript could be a big piece of the puzzle as to why.
I am the author of the manuscript in question. Recently I was granted my second meet and greet in Tampa on August the 2nd, 2008 with Mr. Cornell. I seized what little time I was allotted to ask Chris a seemingly innocuous yes or no question. Granted I'm not the most tactful individual and I certainly would never flourish in a public speaking career, I made a peaceful attempt to converse with Mr. Cornell regarding a relevant creative issue surrounding his upcoming album. He was not being interrogated by any means and it was certainly not a personally intrusive or rude question by any means.
The question stemmed from the events that took place on the evening of November 4, 2007. After my first Cornell concert, I placed a 50 page poetic manuscript into the hands of Mr. Cornell. The manuscript was much like my second child as I crafted and reared it for two years of my life, meticulously developing the poetic outlines within. Most of the content was subject matter Chris is very comfortable in. Essentially if it were to be dissected, it could have very well been interpreted as a raw paper formula for something like a concept album. It is probable and not too far fetched that this album would sound completely different had the manuscript never been produced or factored into the final result. Please do not hold me responsible for how the music sounds as I merely gave him song ideas and he cheapened everything they were intended to be. Granted a few of the poetic ideals within were for amusement purposes only, most of the notions I entrusted in Mr. Cornell's care were very valid and potentially lucrative song ideas.
While I never made any requests or demands as to how Chris went about gutting the manuscript, I did include my contact information so if the manuscript were to be used at any time in the creative procedure and making of the album that Mr. Cornell could notify me, should he decide to use the premises of the manuscript and interpret its content at his own discretion, taste, and liking in the translation of paper ideas. I realize I was naïve to blindly trust a rock star, but I considered Chris an honest man until he gave me just cause to think otherwise.
In the eight weeks after the conceptual manuscript exchanged hands, other artistic production developments began to unfold and Mr. Cornell went into Timbaland's South Beach studio and made a concept album. This could be a huge timing coincidence but my maternal instinct, intuition, and inside source has said otherwise. Being I had no firsthand knowledge as to how my creative content came into play during this interim and admittedly I'm an inquisitive woman, I decided that the most direct and practical way to discover what became of the manuscript, was to ask Mr. Cornell a yes or no question and interpret the truth in his response and reaction. Spontaneity was essential in posing this question.
A normal meet and greet in Tampa rapidly boiled over into a very tense stare down between Chris and I. One moment I was standing with Chris for a photo and seconds later the situation went to hell and it became quite evident that my inquiry was an equally vulnerable subject to both Chris and I respectively.
I'm not an overbearing woman, but I was able to timidly ask Chris a very critical question. "Mr. Cornell, was the manuscript involved in the creative process?"
All of the color left his face and eye contact became something of an urban legend. He failed to directly answer a yes or no question and became highly agitated. After he floundered around for a few moments, an awkward silence gave way to an unwarranted negative reaction. Chris became furious and he stood up and pitched a temper tantrum I can only compare to how my four-year-old behaves when she's being sent to time out. Chris went over and opened the door, presumably so his wife inside could hear him and in conclusion to his Oscar worthy performance, he instructed me to "fuck off."
I asked him one tiny question about my own personal manuscript. There wasn't any need for him to get so upset unless he had something to hide. I don't know exactly what the explicit retort entails precisely or how I am to technically go about honoring such a perverse request, to literally, "fuck off," but it doesn't sound very nice or becoming at all and likely could not be accomplished without assistance from the use of certain personal devices or his mature adult supervision.
I was notified a week ago that I was being effectively terminated from my street team duties because I had the audacity to ask a creative question that made Chris uncomfortable. This is still something of a Da Vinci mystery to me being many journalists have asked Chris thousands upon thousands of creative questions over the years and I have never personally heard of anyone in the field being met with an unprovoked remark from him prior to witnessing the arrogant display firsthand in Tampa.
As a writer, I was merely interested in the role, if any said poetry and song ideas within the manuscript played in the creation of Mr. Cornell's concept album. If he had told me he'd set the manuscript on fire I would have taken that explanation at his word, walked away, and been much more content with the state of this than I am now. As it stands, it's totally open for debate what actually became of the manuscript. Only Chris truly knows and he's not talking. He would have no reason to be defensive unless there were a shred of truth to my claim. Please by all means expose this."
Thanks to Stuff You Will Hate for helping with the images. Visit their rogue's gallery of stupid-looking scene kids!
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.