This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
DFH: For a change of pace, this guy isn't trying to imitate black people, but he sounds an awful lot like Weird Al
SH: hahah i love the sample of the soul singing. Basically this is a nerdcore version of C + C Music Factory. This guy has wet dreams about getting a song in Dance Dance Revolution.
DFH: It's pretty pathetic when I'm wishing for a return to the days when nerds were just really into Rush.
SH: This is so educational. I never realized there was such a huge and widely varied scene of marginally talented musicians seeking to excuse their lack of ability through the power of a highly structured subculture. "Guys look, I may not be the best rapper or anything, but I wrote a fucking track about Dead Rising 2 three weeks before release day so fuck off."
DFH: From the e-mail:
"I frequent a few nerdcore boards and in all honesty I can agree with most of your article, as there are a lot of people just making bad music about video games and being nerdy and slapping the "nerdcore" tag on it. Some which boarders on an offensive parody of the roots of hip-hop. That shit is turbo wack and drives me mental."
DFH: Really, I don't have much to say, other than, again, this is the guy who sent me almost all of the videos we've been watching. And "turbo wack."
SH: It's like if there were an entire sub-genre of dudes who only rapped about model trains or Estes rockets or something. I just Googled it and one of the most popular scales for model trains is 1:87 so you're like halfway there already.
DFH: Maybe we can do the opposite. Let's start making shitty computers for dudes who are really into music. Towers built to look like Marshall Stacks and mice in the shape of Rickenbackers.
SH: Yes, but inside the computer is just an old Atari ST that doesn't do anything when you hit the keys except display text on the monitor that reads "I AM A REAL COMPUTER, I SWEAR TO GOD." Occasionally it might like do an equation or something just to try to prove its legitimacy, but mostly it would just sit around being a horrible computer dressed up like music.
SH: Okay, so here's what i learned nerdcore is: Nerdcore is when white guys (and sometimes girls) awkwardly cram twenty-four syllables into each line of their raps, which are usually about video games (but sometimes about strip clubs) but are always delivered vaguely off-beat, somewhat out of breath, and consistently in fake New York accents or vaguely Eminem-ish nasal drawls.
DFH: Personally, I learned that if you attach yourself to a privileged subculture that perceives itself as marginalized, it doesn't matter how (un)talented you are. Which is why I'm starting a nerdjazz combo. I only took clarinet lessons through 7th grade, but I don't think anyone will notice.
SH: I myself am going to start a zombie-themed hip-hop project where I call myself Chewface Da Infekted and just sort of groan over music from Resident Evil with some 808 handclaps dropped on top. It's not really 'nerdcore' or whatever, but it's still totally legit cuz it's not bitches, blunts, and bling.
DFH: Cool, I'll see you on the anime convention circuit.
SH: sweet, Chewface OUT
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!