This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
In these tough economic times, entertainment can be expensive. Some people steal CDs from WalMart, others partake in illegal downloads and other futurecrimes. Satellite High and I, though, turn to the traditional haven of the downtrodden: knock-offs. "Budget music?" I'm sure you're asking yourself out loud, "Like those bootleg CDs I see for a buck at the gas station?" No, friend, we go the even cheaper route. The free route. The YouTube route.
Satellite High: I like to call this song "Word Up (heavy breathing remix)"
Daryl "Fucking" Hall: Under Armour Electro-Funk
SH: WHOA, this is like is David Allen Coe apologizing for decades of racism.
DFH: "Massive apologies to Cameo for calling you guys the n-word in the '90s."
SH: I hope at some point the camera pans down to reveal a huge red codpiece.
SH: Does one of the stickers on his guitar say "LOL" or is it my imagination?
DFH: Holy shit, he really channeled Jonathan Davis of Korn there for a second. He can do that, right? Is that guy dead yet?
SH: I'm sure his first exposure to this song was that awful cover with the bass player who sounds like he's throwing a slinky around a room.
SH: Also, a lot of this guy's rock poses seem strategically orchestrated to reveal the Misfits sticker.
DFH: Reveal the Misfits sticker / hide away his gigantic gut
SH: Like "Hey, I may be a big heavy-breathin' metal dude but i have a unique side too, and it involves wearing a 'die die my darling' shirt to the food court and just straight glarin' at people."
SH: One sec, brb
SH: Okay, I'm back
SH: "Word Up" inspired me so much I had to grab my acoustic guitar and paint an Internet catch phrase on it. Can't wait to rock the coffee shop open mic with my Goatse guitar!
DFH: Making good use of the soundhole, for sure.
SH: Yes. The hands are skeleton hands, though. From an actual skeleton.
DFH: I don't know if there's a better example of what I was going for with this knock-offs theme than "awkward kid with no rhythm covering rap songs with an acoustic guitar in his bedroom."
SH: That guy is so based that he's come around 100% and he's acid.
SH: Wait, 360 degrees, not 100%. I got my supreme mathematics all fucked up, zig-zag-zig
(GD: Conversational-geometry nerd edit: 180 degrees.)
DFH: His approach to lyric-writing is "Well if it doesn't fit, I'll just hang out on these consonants for a minute while I try to remember how to play a C chord"
SH: At least his performance is electric and full of charismatic energy!
SH: This is a thing that dudes do that bugs the shit out me - this original song does not sound like the music came from The Girl from Ipanema.
DFH: Stan Getz swag
SH: Bitch I'm beatin' women
SH: That's a pretty high-level jazz joke, I dunno if it's really based at all.
SH: Oh wait, he's freestylin' at the end!
SH: "Lil B come teach me how to be the based god"
DFH: Step 1: Move out of your parents' house
DFH: It feels weird to criticize a dude's skills when he's "paying homage" to Lil B, but Lil B does not get lost in the middle of words.
SH: Lil B should start a Make-A-Wish foundation for swag-challenged kids like this where he responds to their YouTube videos by showing up at their house and showing them the proper way to lace their dunks, etc.
DFH: There could be pop quizzes. "Your laserjet printer - swag or not swag?"
SH: Not Swag, it is an HP.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!