This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
SH: Oh sweet, it's Mon-Train Jordan.
DFH: "Guys, if you'll pause your beer pong game for just a second, I'd like to play something for everyone this evening."
SH: "I'm kinda buzzed and it's all because Pi Beta Kappa does it like nobody does!"
SH: The thing is that this guy could be playing a perfectly serviceable cover of some Jack Johnson bullshit, but he's chosen to fuck up a really good song instead of marginally approximating an average one.
DFH: I can tell he's trying to keep the "soul" in the music with his vocals, but he just ends up sounding like Duncan Sheik.
DFH: Inevitably, Pomplamoose.
SH: Oh man, I LOVE this song, but not when performed by the cast of a public radio program.
SH: These two live together, right? Imagine how annoying that must be, communicating with cute little word balloon signs and constantly plinking out soul songs on toy instruments.
DFH: I guess these guys are supposed to be a victory for independent music?
SH: A victory for independent music how exactly?
DFH: I dunno, I think it's "cute white people" vs. the "big bad music industry."
DFH: Because nothing says "indie" to me like yuppies who can afford every instrument they can think of
SH: Yeah, and that spend exorbitant amounts of effort recreating songs that everybody already loves.
DFH: But doing it better! Well, "cuter."
SH: So wait, these people are NOT the Auto-Tune the news people?
DFH: I don't think so!
SH: I thought this was all one big shifting hive of people with the same haircut.
DFH: Hey, I just realized the only thing the woman does in this is sing and play bass. So this is definitely an indie band.
SH: As a married guy, I can see how this would be a cute and fun thing to do as a couple, so I respect that much of the motivation, but why the hell do you put it up on YouTube and infect the world with more horrible videos of white people covering Stevie Wonder?
SH: Just do it in the bedroom and pretend it's sexual and keep it in there. The world doesn't need to see this any more than it needs to see your weird leather masks and shit.
DFH: "Honey, you do such a hot Lionel Richie"
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!