This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
SH: this is all just a side project to support his REAL musical endeavor, "Dapp Rapp"
DFH: Dapp raps like Run DMC still but he uses the word "dope" every other line.
SH: these guys have to do at least one song where they attempt to 'legitimize' a rap song by putting a shitty melody to it
SH: Rollin' down the street, smokin... *dapp backs away from the mic and gives a knowing wink*
DFH: moms have way better taste in soul and motown than this guy can serve.
SH: i dunno it seems like his sole reason for being is to lure suburban moms into his funktafied lair
SH: BABY CHECK OUT THIS STEVIE WONDER SONG BAM YOURE PREGNANT
DFH: How many times do you think this guy has played a cover of "Respect" to try to get into some mom's pants, though?
SH: i think you mean "Mrs. Robinson"
SH: Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Bannerstein-Horowitz?
SH: i bet if you could hear what's going on in dapp's mind, it's just a constant loop of the intro to 'rapper's delight' and maybe a girl moaning
DFH: Items Dapp keeps in his bass bag: Picks, tuner, large pack of condoms, just in case.
DFH: I wonder how many times he has said to people "Dapp, yknow, like ..." and then extends his fist.
SH: shit. i just realized this. maybe the reason dapp's bandmates are so young is because he's running a FUNKY ORPHANAGE
SH: it's like a program where he's adopting children and then raising them to be funktafied child-soldiers
SH: in the war against emo or whatever he said
DFH: DAPPY 2012
SH: seriously man let's make a facebook video about this and then i'll masturbate in public
SH: the world needs to know the truth about DAPP and his dickensian band of musical urchins
SH: Dapp totally drives a Scion
SH: he has a bumper sticker on it that says "BASS PLAYERS DO IT WITH RHYTHM" or something
SH: "BASS PLAYERS DO IT WITH A WEIRD EXPRESSION AND NEVER STOP BOBBING THEIR HEADS"
DFH: "BASS PLAYERS OVERDO IT MOST OF THE TIME"
SH: i bet this guy has a whole arsenal of bad 'drummer jokes' and shit that he whips out at practice to 'bond with the guys'
DFH: He follows all of them up with "You know I'm just playin' man" and then goes in for the signature Dapp Dap.
SH: Heh. Don't worry. I'm a BASS PLAYER right? You know what they say about bass players!
DFH: "They're super funky" *riffs on Super Freak for a minute*
It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.
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