This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.
SH: this is all just a side project to support his REAL musical endeavor, "Dapp Rapp"
DFH: Dapp raps like Run DMC still but he uses the word "dope" every other line.
SH: these guys have to do at least one song where they attempt to 'legitimize' a rap song by putting a shitty melody to it
SH: Rollin' down the street, smokin... *dapp backs away from the mic and gives a knowing wink*
DFH: moms have way better taste in soul and motown than this guy can serve.
SH: i dunno it seems like his sole reason for being is to lure suburban moms into his funktafied lair
SH: BABY CHECK OUT THIS STEVIE WONDER SONG BAM YOURE PREGNANT
DFH: How many times do you think this guy has played a cover of "Respect" to try to get into some mom's pants, though?
SH: i think you mean "Mrs. Robinson"
SH: Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Bannerstein-Horowitz?
SH: i bet if you could hear what's going on in dapp's mind, it's just a constant loop of the intro to 'rapper's delight' and maybe a girl moaning
DFH: Items Dapp keeps in his bass bag: Picks, tuner, large pack of condoms, just in case.
DFH: I wonder how many times he has said to people "Dapp, yknow, like ..." and then extends his fist.
SH: shit. i just realized this. maybe the reason dapp's bandmates are so young is because he's running a FUNKY ORPHANAGE
SH: it's like a program where he's adopting children and then raising them to be funktafied child-soldiers
SH: in the war against emo or whatever he said
DFH: DAPPY 2012
SH: seriously man let's make a facebook video about this and then i'll masturbate in public
SH: the world needs to know the truth about DAPP and his dickensian band of musical urchins
SH: Dapp totally drives a Scion
SH: he has a bumper sticker on it that says "BASS PLAYERS DO IT WITH RHYTHM" or something
SH: "BASS PLAYERS DO IT WITH A WEIRD EXPRESSION AND NEVER STOP BOBBING THEIR HEADS"
DFH: "BASS PLAYERS OVERDO IT MOST OF THE TIME"
SH: i bet this guy has a whole arsenal of bad 'drummer jokes' and shit that he whips out at practice to 'bond with the guys'
DFH: He follows all of them up with "You know I'm just playin' man" and then goes in for the signature Dapp Dap.
SH: Heh. Don't worry. I'm a BASS PLAYER right? You know what they say about bass players!
DFH: "They're super funky" *riffs on Super Freak for a minute*
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
Here are some cool music things, maybe u should check them out. And/or here are some terrible music things, maybe u should check them out if u like to laugh or maybe u should avoid them if u get really angry when u see something stupid.
Daryl 'Fucking' Hall and Satellite High riff on the worst music YouTube has to offer. Amateur covers, nerdcore rap, dadrock -- it's all here! Take a free ride!