Schizo posted:

Ebay, for not cracking right the fuck down on scalpers. I WANT MY GODDAMN TRANSFORMERS YOU SCALPING FUCKS STOP BUYING EVERY SINGLE RACK THE MINUTE THEY'RE PUT OUT.
Flco posted:
Ding ding ding! We have a winner! I was about to come back and mention that when a person is attractive, people look at him or her through rose-colored glasses. I'd much rather have a conversation with a neckbeard about comic books or science because that's more interesting that crappy indy music, lame "cult classic" films like Garden State, and drinking habits ("Ug, I got so wasted last night"). Whenever hot people open their mouths, I wind up yawning and rolling my eyes. They shouldn't talk. I don't yammer on and on to them about my dog and my embarassing WoW addiction, because they wouldn't be interested in that. And I'm not interested in them or their fantastic, boring lives.
Spiffy Marlin posted:
Ok, I loaned one of my good friends my Xbox 360, two controllers, the wires, and a copy of Gears of War. It's our understanding that the gear would remain at his house until I came to pick it up in a week or so, right? Well, I was wrong. My friend goes off and loads my Xbox 360 up to bring it back to me (at this point he's had it about a week and a half, and I explicitly said that I would come and collect it when I want it back).

After loading up the console and all, he drives to his friend's house in the middle of the ghetto, aka "The Village", leaves his truck UNATTENDED in the middle of the worst neighborhood around for 30 miles, and goes off to the nearby park with his friend, leaving the truck unlocked and the windows rolled down.

He comes back after 30 minutes to find that someone had broken in and stolen my Xbox 360 and all the gear with it, plus one of his speakers and his 1200 watt amp.

This was a giant mistake that costs me a lot of money in lost equipment. I'm making him repay me for his stupidity and mistakes, but I wish I could hate him to death right now.
LordVorbis posted:
Myself and a friend would actually queue BEFORE we went to bed, stick a penny in the keyboard to run in circles, and wait overnight to catch an early AV game in the morning before cross server battlegrounds. It got to the point where so MANY people would do this, that you could actually not get into the first instance, because 40 other people over night afkd to get in.

As I was actually sleeping in the same room as my pc, I just ramped my speakers up, and had a mod to play a fucking LOUD noise when I got up. Dragged myself from bed, and went to win our 40-15 slaugherage. Then requeue, and maybe get a second game in later that evening. Again, I'd just leave it on auto afk.

Then BC came, with cross server and migrations. Suddenly our server went from 2-1 A:H to 1:2.2 A:H ! So I could easily have under 1 minute queue times for BGs.

It was heavenly.

Pity we still lost most of the games
fraggsta posted:
I'd like to see the trend of being called a geek for doing things which are quite clearly not geeky die. At the weekend I heard a girl call a guy "such a geek" for seeking out a plug socket to charge his DS while he was out and about. Look, playing on a handheld system is NOT geeky. Charging your handheld system is likewise NOT geeky. Get the fuck out of my subculture!
More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.