This is pretty stupid, I know. I'm not sure I care.
Here's the lodown on the situation:
I'm going to see the band O.A.R. on Monday, July 16th in Louisville, Kentucky. I live in Paducah, Kentucky(see picture). I'm going to said concert with a friend (who here on out I will call "chad") who attends UofL. Chad will be in Paducah visiting family the weekend before the concert so he will be able to drive me up to Louisville. I'm going to the concert, and plan to stick around for a day or so to see what UofL is like( Chad will show me around, what classes are like, etc ). Then I'm going home to Paducah, but here is where the problem arises.
I'm 16, about to be a junior in highschool. I don't have a car, and won't by the time this rolls around, and even if I did, there is no way in hell my parents would let me(being a new driver) drive all the way from Louisville back to Paducah( which is a good 4 hour drive).
First we thought of my brother who attends the University of Kentucky, but he couldn't since he'll be working. Next we thought of riding back with any possible other friends who might be going to the concert. That's a nogo as anyone who would be going to said concert, is going to see them in Nashville instead.
So we came up with the idea, why not put me in a box!
I would bring with me in this box:
-Two bottles of water
-Some form of a dinner and breakfast meal(we were thinking MREs...or something else that is lightweight, small, and easy to put together)
-Zune loaded with endless hours of music
-a small pillow
-cell phone, fully charged with calling and texting abilities(so that someone can check on me to see how I'm doing)
-Jumbo knife(in case they decide to put me on a plane or things go haywire, this shouldn't happen, but more on that here in a few)
-Possibly a video camera to..."capture the moment[s]"
I will be in this box fully packed up. I will be overnighted directly to my house and I will be dropped off for shipping at the last possible moment, and I shouldn't be spending more than 12 hours in this box( we aren't sure about this, so this is where you come in )
Chad has a friend who works for UPS, and will be checking with him on some of these details. But I figured why not let you goons in on the question. I'm sure to get a lot of "you are a stupid immature 16 year old what the fuck are you thinking". If you say that, you are probably right. But you only live once, right?
I need to know:
-Is this even legal?
-What is my worst case scenario?
-What could go wrong that I need to be prepared for?
-Anything else you feel that should be mentioned.
This probably won't end up happening, but I figure its worth a shot.
Okay, so I just got back from subway, and I ordered my normal sandwich (footlong BMT), and I got it with provolone and mustard and ranch sauce and olives and pickles and banana peppers nad lettuce and onions and tomatoes and also bacon, and an extra large soft drink and 2 choco (thats what i call chocolate) chip cookies, and the cute latino girl behind the counter was trying to look away from my face and also holding back laughs. I realized I had just ordered what my stomach asked for and not what society would deem a sandwich with manners. Why people have to judge sandwich etiquitte is beyond me. Fuck those people. So anyways, my sandwich was apparently very unacceptable because everyone was staring at me when I went to get my soft drink from the fountain.
In a last ditch attempt to save face, I said my soft drink choice out loud while I poured it at the fountain. "Diet coke! I love diet coke because im watching my health!" and I made sure to suck in and lift up my chest harder than normal while I walked out the door.
So basically, I'm looking to start learning how to build a goal-oriented sandwich that shows that I have class and taste, I am tired of my dining habits preventing me from picking up the Ladies. For instance, what is a good kind of bread to start with, and what meat looks the best on it? Any help is appreciated.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.