AltronHGX posted:

I've been thinkin about this for a while and PLEASE FORGIVE ME for this messy post. For me, it's never the thread poster that annoys me. What annoys me is the general population of critics that are so full of themselves that they must point out every single flaw of a human being that someone posts--their looks, sound of their voice, what they're wearing, the words they use. Anything.

I'll post a pooly lit, badly posed picture of my friend, who I think is very, very attractive:

Now I'll set myself and herself up for ridicule by saying something to goons that will challenge their massive egos to get the ball rollin'--Dear GBS, if you don't find this 19 year old attractive, you're gay or a liar. Now let's say I posted a picture of her with the purpose being like "guys look how long she can hoola hoop!" or "haha check out her weird fuckin hat" you will have many goons who feel it is their duty to inform me that she is ugly or not perfect, because in GBS land, no one is allowed the slighest imperfection, and to have one makes you sub-human.

I'm like any guy in that I like to look at beautiful women, but it just makes me think "goddamn man what a sad bunch of fucks" when someone posts a picture of a good looking woman and then 10 others say "haha look at that chin" "holy shit get some zit cream" or even if the girl happens to somehow be perfect, "look at all that airbrushing. it's hard to see it but it's there". It makes me think that a lot of these people are ugly themselves and were ridiculed in high schoool, and this is their way of anonymously putting down and judging others to make themselves feel good. I also think a lot of it has to do with the tone of the person posting if they are put down.

If I said "hey guys here's a picture of me", it'd probably get ignored, but if I say "hey guys look at a picture of me. I'm really good looking" then everyone would probably take it upon themselves to shut that me up and destroy their my self esteem, because in GBS, if you're not perfect, you're subhuman, but if you're good looking, you're conceited, and if you're perfect, you're a conceited asshole.

I guess you can say I'm falling into these categories right now by typing this and being an analytical prick, but that brings me to another thing that pisses me off about GBS--a lot of people believe that everything about society needs to fall into an exact, perfectly working science, where there is no such thing as insight, intuition, or politically incorrect but universally understood concepts. I've seen posts from white guys complaining that they can't ever use the word "nigger" without being beaten up or shunned by your group of friends, and for some reason don't understand that there is a little something called context. But when smarter people try to explain this to them, they get all snotty and try to point out flaws and loopholes in what was explained. Of course it fucking doesn't make sense on paper. If you had any insight or experience with people you might know that (As a black goon, I have strong feelings about the issue which is why I used it). Some, no, most things about society, feelings, and beliefs can't be explained with 100% infallibility. Hell, if they could, then everyone would believe the same shit, right?

I wholly expect people to analyze this post piece by piece and telling me what's wrong with it and why what I'm saying isn't 100% correct, when I'm just trying to explain something that I feel rather than debate.

Goddamn that's a lot of words, but in case I wasn't clear, and I really don't thiknk I was cause I have a lot of complicated feelings on this issue, to su this up, my problem with GBS is people that are too goddamn judgemental and closeminded. and it's no way to live. I have only one friend who is like this and I can't stand that about him. I wish people would just learn to relax and stop being a fucking snob. That's what High School was for.

Also, I hate GBS double standard for girl goons where anything they do, ever, makes them an attention whore.

I sure hope I'm not beaten to these problems, cause I started typing this when the thread was at about 8 replies

Reading this over about 5 times and revising the hell out of it, christ, this post is a fucking mess and might wind up in hell dump. But I'm going to post it anyway! I hope some of you get what I was trying to say and agree that GBS just should not be allowed to discuss anything relating to women
St. Elvis posted:
I invite her in and we plunk down on my bed to chat. The topic turns to sex and she asks if I am a virgin. Like I said, I was even less chick-savvy then than I am now. Looking back I realize that I might have had a few opportunities to bang some fairly hot chicks, but I was too dense to pick up on any signals. So at 18 years-old, after finishing highschool, I was still a virgin. I answered her and she gave me a funny look which could only be interpreted one way. I leaned over and kissed her. We hit the bed and began making out. I was in a state of bliss. This was the girl of my dreams, my love for two years and I was finally getting somewhere with it. I pulled off her clothes and threw mine to the floor and then it happened, or I guess more appropriately, didn't happen. My dick wouldn't go up. I was so nervous and worried about my ability to please the girl who had dominated my thoughts for the past two years that I couldn't get a hard-on. We sat there. Silence reigned. After some awkward cuddling she got up and announced that she could do the splits, did the splits, and then left. I was :smith: for weeks
More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.