negritude posted:

She turns to me and says 'hi.' I manage to get out a 'hey' but it was extremely high pitched, as my voice cracked at the most perfect moment. Not thinking, I tried to cover it up by making D.J. scratching noises as if I purposely made my response that high pitched. My friend quickly adverted her attention and I walked into my class.
uinfuirudo posted:

Since I am fairly incompetent when it comes to dating I have alot of these.

When I was in high school I asked out a girl that I liked in front of some friends, she said yes but I thought she was joking. So nothing ever came of that.

College however has been where I have reached ungodly high levels of failure. The sad part is that the other half the time I am actually extremely successful.

1) I didn't realize for my entire first year that when a girl asks you to teach them english that it doesn't mean they want to actually learn english.

2) A chinese girl came into my room and laid on my bed while i was there and trying to sleep and I was too much of a pussy to do anything about that.

3) Talked a girl into letting me sleep in her appartment and then turned it down.

4) went out drinking with a girl and ended up at her apartment just playing mario party.

5) Picked up a girl at a club but decided not to get with her because I thought she was underage(which was really stupid because I was underage). It turns out shes 28 and works at a bank. I actually had coffee with her while I was visiting her city last month and she asked me why I didn't get a prostitute that night.

6) while at a party was dancing with a girl, the music stopped, she told me she hates english, I stop moving start to leave and then she shoved her tongue in my mouth. I was too confused to move after that.

7) I'm not sure if this counts but I was having sex with a vietnamese girl and half way through she just goes "your too big" gets off me rolls over and goes to sleep. The next morning she paid for my breakfast at this place thats sort of like denny's and while we were eating, a piano version of Killer Queen was playing.

edited grammer
Condiment posted:
I've been considering asking my girlfriend to stop taking birth control altogether, as the hormonal contraceptives seem to seriously destabilize her mood. We would probably resort to a cocktail of the rhythm method (preventative) and terminations(reactive), but before suggesting this I'd like some hard facts on the physiological effects of terminations.

Will a 4-6 week pregnancy preceding termination have any long-term psychological effects?
Will multiple abortions have any effect on her ability to bear children in the future?

Ideally I could get a non-hormonal risug injection and skip this whole conundrum, but this isn't a perfect world so we have to make do with what's available to us.
soag.242 posted:
No, I've seen lots of porn with Asians and they seem to have pretty normal VJs, they look hairier than normal a bit though because the hair is Black.

I'm not fakeposting, I'm honestly curious. I think Japanese women are really beautiful because they don't seem to be so Corpulent and Flabby as white women are, which I guess comes from living in a Western Society :/

To the guy who's taking me seriously: Are Japanese Women fairly aggressive in pursuing men? ie, If they see someone they like will they actively try and seduce them?
ellesstwo posted:
I'm twenty years old, and I'm currently stationed in San Diego in the Marines. I've never had a girlfriend before, and to be quite frank, I don't want one. I know it may be weird now, but is it something that can affect me later on in life? Will this 'lonely' period last? I seriously dislike the notion of even having a partner. If my feelings DO stay the same, is there anything wrong with it? May sound lonely, but come to think of it, it isn't that bad. I've been with chicks, but not anything more than casual encounters. Truth be told, I'm kind of insecure, and would rather keep to myself about shit.

Anybody out there feel the same?
Laissez-Fairy posted:
Things have been going pretty well with me and the ex. We still talk every now and again, and as we both built up a fuckton of resentment before we ended things, we're not really missing each other's exclusive company. However, last week I sent off a drunk facebook message, which made her a little upset, and knowing that I've got more shit to deal with in the next while, I wanted to know in the back of my mind that we're cool. So I apologize, and we talk on msn, and I tell her that I made a video collage of the pictures of us that I had on my computer, and asked her to click the link to it. However, Instead of showing her a collage, I rick roll'd her, and I've pretty much been in an amazing mood ever since.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful