Elfie posted:

He physically grabbed my arms and put them around his body so it looked like I was hugging him. He put an arm around my waist and had someone else take the shot. I should have kicked him in the nuts, I realize this, but I just went into shutdown mode. It was such a fucking odd/creepy situation, and I froze. Normally I don't have a problem shutting down asshole men, but he didn't seem like an asshole, he seemed kind of crazy; I didn't know what would set him off.

Bah, before I spend the next hour trying to justify my actions (they aren't really justifiable, I still can't believe I let this happen) I'm just going to move on with this story. This went on for less than 10 minutes before he pulled out my ponytail holder and told me to "wear my hair straight." That was the last fucking straw, and I had to get out of there. I had been telling him that I needed to go, and he kept saying "one more, one more." This time I told him I needed to leave immediately or I was going to miss my bus. He grabbed my arms and seemed very upset. He couldn't quite get out the words, but what came out was this creepy barely coherent rambling of "You're perfect, smartest one, not like a whore, mine." He let me go and I fucking fled. By the time I got home I had seven e-mails from him. Granted, only two of them contained real text, the other five were all pictures. Still, I was unhappy.


I'm not sure I'm properly conveying exactly how deep this creepy well goes. Can I get away with posting a picture of him if it's one he has already posted of himself online? I've got to get going for now, but I'll get the next chunk posted later tonight. Seriously, it gets so much creepier.
Graviton v2 posted:
Congratulations princess. A young man (who quite possibly in 5 years time might be sucessfull, better dressed, rich and un-inhibited) got a crush on you.
hellbastard posted:
Okay, fine, you don't want to marry the guy. Good for you. But dumping a bag of popcorn over his head infront of thousands? Is that neccessary? The guy pays her the ultimate compliment by asking to spend the rest of his life with her, and she dumps popcorn on his head. No; 'sorry no' or whatever just a simple 'fuck you, cunt!'

Girls... This is why that guy you're pretty sure likes you hasn't asked you out yet. Because of cows like that offering an answer to the age old question: 'Why don't you ask her out, what's the worst that could happen?'
Insparkle posted:
My husband and I (mid 20s) have had Disney annual passes for the last four years and we go 1-2 times a week, so I'd say there's plenty to do. :)

The theme parks have more than you probably think. Epcot has plenty to do if just in eating/drinking/talking to the attractive ladies (assuming you're male). Do you have a ticket to the parks while you're there by yourself? That'll give more information about what you can do. The water parks are a lot of fun as well, Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach.

I love Pleasure Island, since you mentioned it. There's only one "wacky" club, and that's the one that we go to. It's called the Adventurer's Club and it's somewhere between a comedy club and a live roleplaying / play. You'll find the most information at this website I use every day: http://www.allearsnet.com
More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.