Mr. G posted:

Well I can understand, but generally if someone is interested in you they should immediately say "yes". In my experience it's alot easier to just be direct and establish that it is a date right off the bat. If you mince words or use "hang out" "get together" or the dreaded "Let's get some coffee" it may just seem like the person is just offering to meet as friends. Which I can tell you if you don't establish its a date there's only three outcomes.

1. Other person realizes it's a date, just wants a free meal/movie/whatever and has no intentions of returning that interest. All you've done is waste time and money while making no progress.

2. Other person realizes it's a date, and it gets super-awkward. So they'll either not be themselves or act weird as to scare you off.

3. Other person realizes it's a date, and everything goes swimmingly. But thats extremely rare.
GoodGrief posted:
I don't know how to approach someone to be in a relationship with, at all.

Now I'm a fairly decent looking guy, slightly tall, not overweight by any means, have a fairly good social life and can easily get along with all sorts of people. I'm confident in myself, and I don't buy into all that "women only date assholes and leave nice guys in the dust! Screw women they're stupid and I want one!" bullcrap. I know I could easily find a girlfriend.

Problem is, I don't have the slightest idea of how to do so. I was a pretty socially awkward kid up until my senior year of high school, so I missed out on all this dating stuff I shouldv'e learned in high school. Now, all the girls I meet become my friends. That's all fine and good, but I've never had a girlfriend, and frankly, being a college sophomore, I should really get in this whole scene while the getting's good.

How should I go about meeting women, getting to know them, but letting them know I'm interested in just more than friendship? Asking up front just seems horribly awkward to me, and I've had some pretty bad experiences in the past trying to do just that. And according to friends, I've had a couple of girls who were interested in me in the past, but I can't read their signals at all.

Any special tips? I'm sure this has been answered several times before, but this goon needs help.
Doctor-Pebbles posted:
I was just wondering if a staff member could delete all of my previous posts? I think I could make a better impression with the fellow Goons.

I mean, I didn't do anything wrong before, but I think people might think of me differently if they re-read my previous posts. I want to have a fresh new start.. While I'm posting this thread, how much money does it cost to change your alias?

I'm interested in changing the hyphen into a period in my name. Thanks.
luma posted:
I've been traveling to a number of major cities in America for a while, and I was out with a good friend this evening. As usual, we were accosted by a number of street bums asking for money. He was clearly surprised when I showed him the way to deal with this situation, and it occurred to me that this apparently wasn't common knowledge.

So, I thought I'd share it with SA at large.

When a bum on the street is going to ask you for money - and you always know that this is going to happen - ask them for money first. I recommend one dollar (substitute the handy local demonination where you live). The first reaction is always confusion, the second is "are you serious", and the third, and most important, is that they leave. On occasion, they will actually give you money. I wound up with a little over $5 sitting in front of a bar in San Fransisco this evening.

It's not that I want to take money from bums, but it's a lot more funny when you can talk them into giving you money then giving them cash. Try it out - it's surprisingly easy. All it takes is a straight face and an honest demeanor.
More The Great Goon Database

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.