I'm a fairly lonely guy. I have my group of friends, and we hang out in the computer lab at lunch. I think my friends are cool, but they're all guys. I don't really have any women in my life.
Well that's not entirely true. I have a sister, Laurie.
Since grade 7, everyone around me has been dating, everyone except for my clique.
Anyways, lately, my friends have started getting girlfriends, I'm really happy for them, but it leaves them with less time to spend with me. I see how happy they are with their ladies, and frankly, I'm jealous.
Last week my friend James called me up to tell me that he had just gone down on his girlfriend, for the first time. He said it was really cool. He's been encouraging me to get a lady of my own for quite some time, to "reap the rewards of having a woman" as he puts it. I don't think I'm ready.
Well, its not that I'm not ready, I'm just not in a position of getting a woman.
Anyways, back to what this is all about.
I like women, but have no access to them. The only exception being Laurie. Ever since James called me up, talking about how cool vaginas are, well, I've been curious, thanks to DPPH I know all about their construction, but, well, the Internet doesn't lend itself to transferring smells.
I'll just say it.
For the last couple of days, I've been going into my sister's laundry, and smelling her panties. It's not too hard; I just say I'm doing a load of wash, or wait for everyone to leave, and then go into her hamper.
I'm in no way sexually attracted to my sister; this doesn't have anything to do with her. I just love the smell of vagina, and she has one.
I don't think this is too wrong, but I'm afraid to ask my friends if they have done it.
Is this normal?
As some of you know, I recently posted in here in GBS about a sexual indulgence of which I have recently amused myself with.
The GBS community displayed a wide variety of opinions and there is nothing wrong with that at all. I was unsure to the… "normalness" of such an activity, and you made it abundantly clear that I should stop. I have no problem understanding this, and never intended to do "it" again.
But there is something VERY FUCKING WRONGth what one of you did.
This afternoon I was picked up for school by none other then my sister. I immediately noticed that she was acting oddly. She would not look at me or talk to me the whole way home, and when we finally got there... I walk into the living room and both of my parents are in there looking directly at me.
Apparently, a "goon" who read my post took it into his hands to locate an account on a different message board, where I stupidly used the same name and avatar.
This of yet unnamed goon somehow acquired my phone number, called my house, and spoke to my parents and explained the situation.
I would just like to tell whoever did this... you destroyed my life.
I can't fucking breathe... I can't fucking think... why would someone do this. What I did... was harmless... what I posted... was honest. And yet someone took this whole message board thing TOO FUCKING FAR destroyed my life.
I now not only have to live with my ENTIRE FUCKING FAMILY KNOWING THIS, but I also have to see a psychiatrist.
Whoever did this… know that I WILL fucking find out who you are. I hope you are banned from this message board, and I hope you can't sleep at night knowing the personal and economic strain you have put on my family, and on my life. (psychiatrists are VERY fucking expensive, I was told I will be getting a job for the first time in my life this summer just to pay for my fucking shrink)
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.