Il meglio posted:
I'm kind of socially retarded. Anyways, one time my older brother invited me to visit his college for a weekend while I was still in HS. I thought hey, that would be cool right?
Well I go up and proceed to get drunk for the first time at the age of 20. I know what you're thinking, wow what a pathetic nerd, but honestly I was never into the idea of getting drunk. This time was different though, because it was my older brother and he was actually treating me like a human being (my relationship with him could be it's own E/N thread). Anyways I get drunk and have a blast with him and his friends, who decide after a little drinking it's time to hit the bars. So I join them.
We go to this bar and meet up with a bunch of people he knows. There was this one girl who had a big bosom, I think her name was Erica, and I was just absolutely smitten when I saw her. She was totally stunning.
For once in my life I actually hit it off with someone. I was laughing, and so was she (a first!), we were both looking at each other and I could tell it was going to get hot. After about five minutes of conversation I pull out the slickest move in my book:
'Hey, want to go back to your place and make love?'
She kind of laughs, but when she realizes I'm serious she kind of turns away. When I tried to keep talking to her she just kinda looked at me sideways and laughed. I didn't know what to do, so I started poking her and generally being cute. She doesn't buy it though. So, in my last ditch effort, I pull out a line that should have worked like a charm.
'Hey, maybe we can just go back to your place and I can eat you out and we can cuddle.'
She starts laughing in my face. I felt really bad so I started crying. When my older brother found out what I'd said he called me a faggot, ordered me to leave the bar, and told me to go home. I drove 140 miles home very drunk and pretty sad. That was pretty much the worst.
In the recent Anonymous Confessional thread, I confessed that I am (obviously) a live-in daughter slave who has been feminized. This means that I was born a male. I live with my Daddy, who takes care of me and I take care of him. I've been living with him for around a year and a half now. I'm 19. I met him when I was 17. Daddy let me buy a new, anonymous account so that I may post this thread.
My life consists of making Daddy happy. By doing this, I, in turn, am happy. Not many people really understand the Daddy/Daughter side of BDSM, and even less understand feminization. Most questions, I'd be more than willing to answer. The question is whether Daddy will let me or not. He'll be approving questions for me to answer, and anything that I pass over, you can assume that Daddy said I can't answer.
There are two questions that I WILL NOT answer:
1) Where do you live?
This is not something that I want known. I'm sorry. Daddy is a well known man in the area, and I want his reputation to be safe.
2) Can I see a pic?
Daddy does not allow me to put my picture in public locations on the internet. Only after knowing an e-friend for a while, am I allowed to show them one or two pictures of myself.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.