**note im a man so this thread is from a man's perspective, females are welcome to join in!!**
Lately I've thinking about masturbation-and mostly the aspect of why we look down on it so. Probably because it feels good and you don't really accomplish anything other than blowing your load. But why cant it also be a productive session that prepares you for the real thing? Here are some thoughts:
If you cum too early when having sex try to increase your time while masturbating, every day work on increasing your duration until you reach your desired time.
If you have difficulty reaching a climax in a certain position (for me it is standing up or on my knees), work on masturbating and reaching a climax in that position.
You can watch yourself in the mirror while you masturbate to make sure your thrusting form looks top-notch. This way you aren't just hunched over with your eyes rolled back in your head while your whole body spasms about which tends to creep girls out (just dont tell them you watch yourself in the mirror while u masturbate lol!)
Do you guys have any ideas?
I'm really fat and I need room to spread my legs to wipe well. I use a handicapped stall when it's available and I occasionally fantasize about what I will say if someone calls me on it. So I'm not officially handicapped but somewhat functionally. I would never dream of taking a handicapped parking space. I'm physically able to walk a few hundred feet but not being able to wipe properly qualifies me for the bathroom, I think. The general public may not understand this but I'm willing to explain it to a judgmental bystander if I must.
Nice. :vomitvomitvomit: I don't think you would have said this if you were a woman. I can't even stand menstruating without Purell 9after using the facilities), Massengill (at least 3x during, at least twice in a row after). My mouth always tastes like metal because of the elevated iron and copper content of the blood near all mucous membranes. Everything tastes like whatever food it is -- cooked in a vat with a million pennies.
And now I read this subthread about guys who want that taste in their mouths (I don't care if you're kidding). Could you please go suck on a bullet for about an hour and then try to down a cup of coffee? Yeah. That's what it's like to have your period. It's a waste function.
Also, I bleed when I wax (Middle Eastern-depth hair roots. Eeeeeewwwww!), and I get ingrowns pretty much immediately after I shave, but that doesn't keep me from trimming as close to the surface as possible and keeping immaculate and well-balanced moisture-wise. Cause I like to get laid without watching a guy make that "Oh, that's vile" face. Is it extra work? Yeah. So are my 4 1/2" pinup wedges and flossing my teeth before I leave the house. I still do it. And I always thought most groomed-looking women did it, too.
Eeeeeeew, again. I am so only posting this because I feel so vomitty thinking about "This Is My Pussy -- Love It Or Leave It." Hell, I even comb it, so it looks nice and neat! Is that weird? Yeah, well, at least it's CLEAN-weird!!!
I once posted a picture of my penis on the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis page. I was accused of sick perversion and vandalism because I supposedly "put it up for no reason". In the talk page people moaned that I was probably putting it up there because I had a strange fetish that led me to want little children to see my piece. I replaced the "flaccid and erect" picture, because the one that was on there was of crappy quality (It has since been replaced, and my penis is not the one on it... The cock on it now is fully shaven, which is odd because another argument against my dong being on the page is that it was "un-natural" do to the fact that I am circumsized.)
But whatev. The guys at Uncyclopedia and GNAA usually do some fun vandalism related activities on Wikipedia.
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
Old mixed signals feeling a little stale? Try some new ones!
day 2: still working on the car
The Something Awful Forums are, by far, the greatest and most entertaining community on the internet. From the Comedy Goldmine to Photoshop Phriday, our forums are pretty much the lone island refusing to be engulfed by the sea of stupidity that is the internet. While sections like the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Phriday showcase the intentionally hilarious forum creations, we've failed to reveal the coin's flip side. The Great Goon Database is a depository of unintentionally amusing Something Awful Forum quotes demonstrating the darker side of SA. Special thanks to Goon "LittleJoe" for collecting and sorting these gems.