ANIME CHARACTER DESIGN
The first thing one will notice upon watching an Anime film or cartoon is the distinct artistic "style" of the female characters. Unlike traditional American cartoons which tend to stress realism (at least until Anime became trendy and all the American hack artists decided to start emulating the Japanese), Anime characters are based more on the artists' perception of the "ideal" human being. This goes to show that the opium business must be as alive and active as it ever was in Japan, because the female characters in Anime are truly disturbing and would likely cause recurring nightmares if you were to meet one in public. Let's take a look at how a human being would look after its been turned into Anime by State Og's very own Animizer machine.
The Subject: Supermodel Tyra Banks.
As you'll notice, Tyra Banks looks remotely human in this picture. This is generally considered a big "no no" in terms of Anime design, as all female characters (by law) must look like a mutant humanoid cat with spliced bug DNA and breast implants installed by a balloon salesman. Allow me to demonstrate by running Mrs. Banks through the Animizer, a program which converts any "normal" human into their Anime equivalent:
STEP ONE: The Waistline.
Female waistlines should be between 1/2 and 3/4ths the size of the subject's shoulder width. The really "hot" Anime girls that many people still living in their parent's basement will masturbate to have a waistline that can only be measured by an electron microscope. Generally speaking, a good Anime woman should look like her entire upper torso will snap and fall off if she tries to turn around or a particularly strong wind blows by.
‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.
Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.
No lifeguard on duty. Maze run at your own risk.
Something Awful Guides can help you, the Internet reader, make the most out of your life and just might possibly end up getting you incapacitated or killed!