Kids like dogs because they're friendly, playful, and energetic; just like children. Many kids find it fun and ticklish to allow their dog to lick them on the face with the same tongue that the pet uses to sample the various obscene liquids floating around in your toilet bowl. Think about it this way: if you own a dog, every time you take a crap, you're taking a crap on your children's faces. Keep this in mind next time you think about purchasing a dog. Or a kid.
Next time you go to use the restroom and you have a dog and child in the house, think of this picture. On second thought, don't.
Dogs, unlike cats and most snakes, can learn simple tricks that can amaze simple people. Some of the more popular tricks include:
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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