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11/19/2002 Jed - HL DM: "WORK"
Wow, it’s like someone just stabbed me in the eyes with a few dozen HIV-infected needles!

Author: Raziel
Reviewed By: Jed
Game Type Supported: DM
Overuse of Colored Lighting: Yes.
Spelling Errors in Text File: Yes.
Pain Level: Zombie Joseph Stalin throwing me into an irrigation ditch filled with broken glass and carpet tacks.

Download here (416 kb)

AT A GLANCE: The ugliest fucking Half-Life map I’ve ever seen, and yes, that’s saying a lot. Take the shitty visuals of every hl failure Psychosis and I have reviewed to date and combine them into one massive, sprawling Nazi death camp of pure repugnance and you get “Work”, as seen on Planethalflife and soon to be featured in all of my nightmares (well, all the ones that don’t involve tiny astronauts with pruning shears, anyway).

DESCRIPTION:
Greetings;

This is my first map ( not the first ive made but the first I sent out ). :) Please E-mail me with any ideas you have or suggestions about it.

It’s pretty funny that it actually took Raziel several attempts to come up with a “quality” map like Work. No wait, seeing this guy get raped by cattle would be funny. That’s just sad.

Some of the textures dont show up at some angles and distences

For some reason this is listed under “known bugs” even though it really just improves the map if anything. Too bad he couldn’t find a way to make the whole thing disappear.

Also E-mail me any other bugs you find to help me in my mapping pleasure :)

Yes, please by all means send Raziel your helpful feedback and constructive criticism. You get to tell him what a wonderful human being he is for releasing this monstrosity, and he gets “mapping pleasure”!! Everybody wins! Except your eyesight if you play this map.

THE MAP:
My map may be a rancid pile of sewage, but damned if it’s going to be an asymmetrical one!
Work reminds us to never underestimate the Half-Life engine’s ability to render crap. It looks like Raziel drank a few gallons of paint and took a giant shit in the map editor. Also, using a revolutionary new technique known as “making the map even shittier than it was previously” he created a bizarre lantern object that casts fucked-up blocky shadows on its equally blocky surroundings. Unfortunately, at some point during the 0.01 seconds before this “effect” loses its novelty Raziel decided to take the idea and run with it, using it to illuminate every single room of this uglyfest. Awful lighting in maps usually sends me into a homicidal rage, but this time it’s genocidal. I want to destroy the entire human race for producing this guy.

GAMEPLAY: Raziel has wisely opted to put all of the good guns at the top of the map and all the spawn points at the bottom. I’m not sure if this is some horrible attempt at weapons balance or just a sadistic plot to make players traverse the entire map every time they die. I suppose it doesn’t really matter at this point since we’ve already established that Work sucks balls. Do I even have to mention that the r_speeds are around 3000? This guy obviously doesn’t know how leaks work, but then that’s the beauty of being a shithead mapper; you don’t have to know.

FUN FACTOR: Lousy item placement, craptacular lighting, astronomically low framerates, and yet somehow this map still fails to be the fun-atorium one would expect. Very curious indeed.

THE BOTTOM LINE: You can use “Work” to kill your boss and make it look like a terrible accident. Which, coincidentally, is a pretty good description of the map itself. ZING!!

Category: Rating:
Aesthetics: -10
Gameplay: -8
Item placement: -7
Layout: -9
Detail: -9
TOTAL: -43

Individual ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully terrible).
Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the worst piece of shit you'll ever play).