AT A GLANCE: Do you like walking down long hallways where every texture is the same and there is no way out? Yes? Really?! Well, I was expecting you to say no. You kind of ruined this whole intro now. Goddamnitt this always happens! Well, we might as well just get this over with.

DESCRIPTION: I have no doubt in my mind that there are some mappers out there that wish for nothing more than to destroy the entire human race and all civilization as we know it with their crummy maps. Maze of Death is one such map. It's a maze where you invariably end up dying. No kidding. You will actually die if you play this map for too long. The map was carved out of Satan's flesh by the Antichrist himself. I reccommend wearing a rosary and clutching the true cross before you load up this stinker.

From the map's readme file:

this map is only beta 0.1

maze of death
ok you need to put the map in you'r hl2/map folder and when you start hl2 go to you'r console and put in ( map maze )that's it

Thanks type99! Where would we be without you?

THE MAP: Have you ever been to one of those Family Fun Center type places? You know the ones. They have those crappy amusement park type rides that you see so often on "When Disaster Strikes Amusement Parks" and a slick track. The one I went to as a kid had a maze that you could run through for something like three dollars. The goal would be to run to every "base" in the maze and get "MAZE" spelled out on your punchcard. Most people just crawled under the wooden walls and cheated their way to the end, which makes me wonder why someone would pay money to run through a crappy maze. Oh right, their parents dumped them off there so they could enjoy 15 minutes away from their terrible hellspawn. Oh the maze was such a big hit with retarded children that they would lose themselves all day in all that maze goodness. That's why it was such a huge surprise when the maze was eventually torn down and replaced with absolutely nothing. Do you know why the maze was torn down, kids? BECAUSE MAZES ARE FUCKING STUPID. This map captures the essence of those mazes I hated so much as a child. I am sending type99 my bill for the therapy I will have to undergo after playing his horrible atrocity of a map.

This map takes the Source engine to fantastic new heights.

Type99 makes it a point to mention in the readme that this map is beta 0.1. I got a little bit of flack from my review of School for reviewing a map that is in beta. Let me ask you then, what will be included in the final version of Maze of Death? Is type99 planning to add some flashing lights? Some colored lighting? Maybe some more enemies? How about a suicide pill? What could possibly be added to this map to make it fun? You know, if you have a game that is in beta and it's not at least a little bit fun to play, there is a good chance the final version won't be fun either, no matter what you do.

GAMEPLAY: There is gameplay in the sense that this is technically a game and you are playing it, but type99 had nothing to do with that. My adventure began at some arbitrary point in the map. In front of me was a crowbar. I picked it up. Unable to create a hole in my skull with it, I pressed on. I randomly walked down long corridors until I eventually came to a combine soldier. Oh boy, a dead end. I did away with the enemy and backtracked to the point where I made the wrong turn and continued on. I randomly walked down more long corridors again and came to a dead end with a zombie. I made quick work of him and backtracked yet again. I repeated this process a couple more times until I realized that there was actually no end to this map. I enabled no clipping mode and flew around trying in vain to find an exit. No luck. This the map that never ends. It just keeps going on and on my friend. Some people started playing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll be playing it forever because this is the map that never ends. It just keeps going on and on my friend. Some people started playing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll be playing it forever because this is the map that never ends.