AT A GLANCE: If one were to combine every single element of a bad Capture The Flag map into one seemingly innocent BSP file, it would have to be "Infiltrate" by Chris Matz. Everywhere you run, there are low framerates, bad lighting, and no room to run around and frag your imaginary friends (assuming those would be the only friends that would play this map with you if you asked them).

DESCRIPTION: From text file -

"Installation - Move infiltrate.pk3 to baseq3 folder, and there will be much rejoicing."

"Rejoicing"?? more like "damning the wretched soul who unleashed this map on humanity!" If Chris had any loving, concerned friends, I'm sure they would have screamed "YOU'RE RELEASING IT?! NO! NO! A THOUSAND TIMES, NO!!" and then beaten him repeatedly with baseball bats.

"Description - CTF map designed to work best for up to 8 players."

...That is, if you can fit 8 players at once in this map. In the meantime, try to find 7 other willing persons who would play this map with you, 'cause that feat alone is impossible.

Can you guess which base this is?

THE MAP: Ok, where the hell do I begin?

The middle area. The middle of this map is a mish-mosh of horrible lighting and boxes. The ledge/walkway system of the map is comprised mostly (oh, sorry, ENTIRELY) of an overused grating texture, which even slows down my P-III 1.13 GHz computer with a GeForce2. The walkways link together tiny rampart-like forts that invade the center, stuffed with more powerups than any other Quake III map known to man. Making it across the middle of the map is simple. If you possess the ability to WALK FORWARD, you should have no trouble navigating the topside of this map.

Now at this point, you might be thinking, "Wait a minute, Mista T.! 'Topside?' You mean that there's more to the map than what lies on the surface?" Damn straight, you corn-holers. There's another big, convoluted mass of hallways underneath this fucker too, and each hallway is tinier than the next and packed with more powerups. Although it's a nice refreshing break from the mulitcolored lag-fest, it still doesn't take away from the awfulness of the map.

Each base is just as cramped as the underground hallways, complete with an endless amount of supplies, ammunition, and laggy grating walkways. Good ol' Chris had made it easy for the players of the map to tell which base is which - he crammed both the colored base textures and corresponding shitty lighting into their respective bases, which is just plain overkill in any CTF map. The ugliness of each of the bases is defense enough for incoming enemies - nobody wants to subject their eyes to such misuse of primary colors.

This is one of the mini-bases crammed with goodies.

GAMEPLAY: The gameplay? Gameplay is nonexistent. The bots seem to have no problem running around the map, only because of the fact that computers can't feel pain. It takes about 6 seconds to run from one base to the other, so capturing the flag is never a problem. However, if you indeed have 8 players crammed in this shithole, the process of taking the flag and bringing it back to your base becomes nail-bitingly frustrating. I'm sure if Chris had tested this thing numerous times before he had the moronic idea to release this heaping turd, he would've either:

A. Changed everything in the map, or
B. Erased any record of creating the map.