AT A GLANCE: Welcome to “Tricks 'n' Traps”, where one wrong move can mean the difference between life and death, and 400 shitty traps can mean the difference between a playable deathmatch map and a wretched pile of dog crap that makes me want to burn my copy of Half-Life. It’s by the same guy who made Darked. Go figure.
DESCRIPTION: Take it away, Phil!!
This map has loads of tricks and traps (hence the name!) And They all work out pretty well. You don't go hunting around for something, it'll just pop up and, kill you :). I made this map to make players affraid of Half-Life doors }:).. You'll know what I mean when you play this.
I'm sorry for the lack of detail, but I had to take out quite a bit to make this map run faster, and I don't have that much time :(. Also, you can't blame me since I've only been mapping for 1 and 1/2 months and that this is only my 3rd map :/
PS Yes, I'm British, but can you please stop sending me those E-mails asking if I want a spot of tea.
He’s only been mapping for 1 ½ months and this is already his third released level?? Maybe Britain has a “mandatory map release” law requiring citizens to make the entire contents of their Worldcaft folder available online. Or maybe all their mappers are just mouth-breathing douche bags who don’t know any better. Maybe both. From what I’ve heard, it’s a pretty loopy country.
THE MAP: Like the berserk supercomputer in Resident Evil, this giant cluster-fuck of traps is hellbent on systematically murdering every life form it encounters. You see, whereas most mappers use traps to associate a risk with picking up powerful items, Phil Holland slaps em’ in his maps with the sole intent of destroying any attempted deathmatch game in a shitstorm of cursing and weeping. At least he didn’t use any awful colored lighting, although I’m sure that’s next on his “Things to put in a Half-Life map before I break out of this padded cell and drive off a cliff in a hijacked bus full of circus midgets” list.
The 10 miles of hallways that make up Tricks 'n' Traps look a lot like Wolfenstein 3D. Well, except that they’re fucking ugly and also full of leaks because Phil’s crazy like that. Visuals are pretty much of the caliber one would expect from the fucknose who just wrapped up production on Darked. Not that you’ll have much time to notice them while fighting the onslaught of retarded traps in a battle for your own sanity.
To get the Egon, swing a right at the giant concrete vagina.
Every time I think I’ve finally got these idiot mappers figured out, something like Tricks 'n' Traps comes along and totally knocks me on my ass. Until today, I didn’t think there was anyone on earth sadistic enough to even create a map like this, let alone unleash it on the rest of the world through a public ftp, but Phil has proven me wrong. He is a horrible monster, and truly deserving of his “final boss creature in all future video games based on this site” status.
GAMEPLAY: Great if you prefer your deathmatch games without any deathmatch.
FUN FACTOR: Anyone who plays this map for more than 5 minutes will invariably lose all will to live and jump in front of the nearest moving bus. Is this one of the “tricks”? Maybe you should ask Phil. Don’t mention that spot of tea, though, or he’ll get pissed and probably release 50 more awful maps like this one.
THE BOTTOM LINE: Darked was just a warm-up. Avoid this map at all costs. It’s fuck 'n' terrible.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully terrible).
Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the worst piece of shit you'll ever play).