like the Strogg defaced this wall.
got a laser fetish?
together a terrible laser light show with a Strogg
slum, a New York City street, and all the explosions
from every "Die Hard" movie and you've
got "Erik14", or as I like to call it,
"A bunch of crap not fit to line my birdcage
"Very sweet alter for the quad damage.
Good BFG10k trap. Fun design. Rude tricks. Good
level." Um, which level are you talking
about Erik? The "shrine" is a flashing
red room with 80 pounds of lasers in it and the
"BFG10k trap" is a button that instantly
kills you with eternal explosions. As for "fun
design", the only fun that could possibly
have come from this was when Erik, while diligently
working hard on this map, got in his second kilo
of pure, uncut cocaine. Yes, it would take that
much to make this map fun.
MAP: Once again, this map is an experience
in short attention spans. Each room has nothing
in common with the one next to it, random objects
and terrible geometry are thrown about the map
like a baseball pitcher with a muscular disorder.
Was that a good analogy? Screw you if it isn't,
this map is so bad I can't think of any analogies
poor enough to describe the pain that runs rampant
through these hallowed, poorly textured hallways.
of the hallways, Erik seems to enjoy making walls
out of textures that were not meant to be repeated
(or, in certain cases, not even meant to be used).
You'll see walls textured with repeated signs.
There's floors with the computer console texture.
It's these ingenious trademarks that really helped
Erik earn his current title as "The Guy With
the Most Maps on Cranky Steve's Haunted Whorehouse."
I should make an award or something. If any of
you chuckleheads out there wants to make me a
banner or button or same crazy-ass shit like that,
it to me.
you spawn into some epileptic seizure zone, where
your character vibrates and shakes uncontrollably
until you move. But then, even when you do move,
you realize your entire nervous system is still
shaking and shuddering uncontrollably, so it's
no big win there. There's a kinda battleground
thing upstairs, with square holes in the floor
for you to fall down. It's little touches like
those that really convince me Erik can't be an
actual human being, but a robot programmed to
end all humanity.
room with the Quad Damage is great, as there's
lasers all over the place and lighting the color
of your capillaries when they all burst at once.
After passing by the pothole infested room, you
get into the "Strogg Ghetto" which contains
the Strogg jailcell texture repeated everywhere
and a couple teleporters. One teleport sends you
off to the basement, of course, spawning face
first into a wall. The other telelports you INTO
the same teleporter, so you're stuck there until
you quit the game. Which, if you're smart, should've
occurred within the first few seconds of starting
the map. Anything else I missed? Oh yeah, the
map sucks. Can't forget that crucial tidbit of
The Forgetful Lumberjack didn't want to play this
map for some odd reason. I let the kid off easy
though, as it's his birthday today and I didn't
want to subject him to this kind of pain. Cause
I'm a nice guy and all that shit. Plus my boss
came in and gave me shit cause I left one of the
maintenance valves on all night and two zones
got flooded. Boo-fucking-hoo.
FACTOR: If you liked Erik's other maps,
you'll probably like this one. If you like sticking
needles into your penis, you'll probably like
this map as well. So this map is essentially aimed
at all the Erik and penis-needle fans out there.
BOTTOM LINE: Go watch a movie with the Olson
Twins, it'll be a lot less painful.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully
terrible). Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50
(the worst piece of shit you'll ever play)