#1 - GOD
They liek boobs! And guns!!! AND BEER!!!!!! They got there employess
by going to frathouses and giving a GOD GAMES SIGNUP sheet that
had this questian:
1) DO YUO LIEK BOOBS?!? CIRCLE ONE:
HINT: CHOOSE "YES"
and anybodey who was smart enough to hold a pen and check any box
was given a job. now they make Profesional games about boobs that
EXPLODES! they also employe hot hooter women to stand next too there
products at e3 becuase it si clevar marketing stragety! See look
TEH PROOF SI IN TEH PUDDING, GENTS!!! so as yuo can planely see,
there clevar marketing stragety works because NIPPLES = QUALIETY
SOFTWARE!!! lets taek a look at the games they will be previewing
and I will tell yuo about them becuase you are all probaly stupeds
and arant as smarat as me and dont know anything about games becuase
yuo spend all day knitting sweatars for grandma!!! ahahahahaha AND
USE AOL! AND WINDOWS !!! GRAAABABAGHAGAGAGAG!!!!111111111~~~~~//
Oh ho, its liek DUKE NUKAM but its differant becuase his name si
"MAX PAINTY" and not "DUKE NUKAM" and also it
takes place in NEw York and Duke 4D takes place in I dont know where
it takes place, I dont think 3D realms has got that far in teh game
yet. Painty Max is a tough MOFO (LOL ROFTLE!!!!) and he dosant take
NO for an answar! he was framed for murdar by a mob and now he must
find his framer and kill them before teh police catch him and arrest
him for copyright infringments against "RENEGADE" starring
Lorenzo Lamas. this game si being made by "Remedy Entartainment"
who made a bunch of games I nevar heard of (probaly becuase they
were not good). so maybe Painty Max will not be good either. I dont
care. hear si some crap from teh website:
"Max Payne is a relentless story-driven game about a
man on the edge, fighting for his justice while uncovering plot-twists
and twisted thugs in the gritty bowels of New York during the
century's worst blizzard."
WOW!!! TWISTY THUGS AND GRITTY BOWELS! PAINTY MAX IS MUST SEE TV
FOR SURE! TEH FEELGOOD SENSATIAIN OF TEH YEAR!!!
THUGS AND GRITTY BOWELS: TEH PAINTY MAX STORY!!!
OF WONDARS 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
I dont know what this si a game about, so hear is a pressed release:
Age of Wonders II: The Wizard's Throne blends role-playing,
melee and magical combat, and building, while placing the player
in control of an ancient fantasy empire. To restore balance in
a world on the brink of collapse and earn a place amongst The
Circle of Evermore (a group of immortal wizards,) gamers take
charge of power-wielding wizards, clashing battalions and laboring
guilds. As the story unfolds, players will encounter deities,
other wizards, enemies and allies, each with their own agenda
and personality. The alliances made or broken with each unique
character in the game will make the difference between ultimate
success or utter demise.
it has wizards in it so the game si obviousley for fagorts and
I dont care too write about it any more. maybe Jerry will HAHAHHAHA
wizzards, what a load of HONKEY!
Oh look a wizard how wondarful
DUKE NUKAM SAYS "OH LOOK AT YUO MONSTAR! YUO ARE HAIL TO
TEH KING BABY! HEAR COMES DUKE! I WANT TO WHORE SOME STRIPPARXZS"
This si a top secrat game that 3D RELAMS has been working on since
a long time, but they get mad when yuo make joeks about how slow
they are too code it, so I wont make any jokes about it becuase
I want EXCLUSEIVE SCOOPS to scoop I dont know who Ill scoop but
I want to see a pig cop so I wont maek fun of Duke Nukam. in this
Duke Nukam gaem for yuor computar machene, yuo will palay teh role
of Duke Nukam who shots the guns and alians! AND STRIPPARS! nobodey
knows much about teh game becuase 3D RELASMS has a media BLACKOUT
on it and wont tell anybodey anything not even teh
best game news site on teh Intarnet, "GAMER GRAND CENTRAL PAGE"!!!
boy! hear si a quote:
Plenty of big-built wiggling show-girls and under-cover alien
mobsters then. There will also be a number of games within the
game. Vegas being the gambling capital of the world, five will
get you ten that there will be a pay-load pin table called "Balls
Of Steel", which you'll need to win!
HA HA HAWR BALLS OF STEEL I dont get it!!!! hear si a game within
a game: GEORGE BROUSARRD WORKING ON DUKE NUKAM WHILE CAMPING UNDERWARE
IN EVERQUEST!!! hahahahahah!!! stop stabbing orcs and make a game
yuo menace!!!!!!1 else I will claim it's clobberin time and yuo
will get two fisted justice of FURY JUSTICE from me, sir. Also there
si teh microwave gun and teh shinrkor gun and The Freeze gun but
nobodey will use them becuase theyre for mall puppets/
HEAR FOR TEH NEXT PAEG ON MY ARTICAL!