THES SI ME, NON HAX0RING PEACEFUL FELLOW JEFFK!

HELO FAGORTSAND WELLCOEM TOO MY NEW AND EMPROVED HOEMAPEG!!!! HELLO I USED TOO BE A HAX0R BUT NOW I AM A COMPUTAR CONSULTANT BECUASE HAX0RING SI ILLEGAL!!! AND TEHY SAIDS I WOULD BE ARESTED IF I KEPT HAX0RING SO NOW I HELP PEOPAL INSTEAD OF HURT THEM BUT IF YUO ARE A FAGOT I CANNOT TAEK REPSONSABILITY FOR YUO IF YUOR COMPUTAR MACHIENE HAS TOO BE SENT BACK TO GATEWAY BECUASE IT GOT WINNUKED BY A SLY FOX!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA~
HEAR SI MY EMALE ADRESS: OH WAIT ITS HEAR

ARTICALS:

REVIEW OF FRGRAD THEFT AUTO; SAN ANDERESAS

Summar movies previews 2003: A VARY GOOD ARTIACAL IN FACT!!!!

INTARnet funtime funhorsehouse! palays teh games with skill or else

A GUIDE TOO PALAYING AND WINNING WARTCARFT 3 (it sucks, not my guide, teh GAME SUXCKS!!!)

my report on E3 OF THIS YEAR, NOT LAST YEAR LIEK LAST YEAR!!!

!!REVIEW!1 of MMROPG "TOMORROWWIND"

MY GUIDE too useing teh Intarnet (reads it now or esle)

e3 PREVIEW! FOR THIS YEAR, NOT TEH YEAR BEFORE!!!

a look at upcomineng consoules and what yuo shoulds buy with MONEYS/

SUPAR LEvallord solves a CRIEM!

WINDOWS WHISLAR PREVIEWS1

My artical on Direct X 8.0 and why yuo shodant download and install it!!!!111

MY review of "Command and COnquer: Red Alert 2" it was horribal gaem!

HAHA PEOPAL WHO READS STIEL PROJECT ARE DUMB!!!1

Summar PC gaem previews / revews


My E# E3 REPORT

Daeikitanaia versis Ghouls and ghosts!!!!

How to overcloack yuor computar2

Chooes yuor own adeventare mystary game!

I almost gots a job at LEGEAND Entertainment and maed Tanks Versis Mumies

I will maek "TEEN FORTRASS 2" becuase Gab Newall si too busey doing whateavar he dose all day

d My game previews colamn

Increase teh peace! No MORE computar haXoring!!!

I wants a job at id Softewaer! I apliead for a job

KEVEIN NITMIOCK AND HAX0RING COMPUTARS 101

My quae\Ek 3 clan Clan 40 Ounsce. Yuop can try too join byut yuo will loose!

Teh futare of video cardsds

QUAEK 3 AREANEA vs. KARNOV

My quaeke 2 mod will be teh best

AMD versis Intel or petium or whatevar! TEH CPU SHOWDONS!

COMICS;

JEFF K/"S MUCH MUCH MORE BETTAR THAN PENNY ARACADE!!! IT'S ALLOT BETTAR, TRUST ME FOLKS

THES COMIC SI BETTAR THAN PENNEY ARACADE!!!

scarrey halowen comics !

MY USAR FRIENDLEY ANAMATED COMIC STRIP CARTOON!

MY WACKY FUN COMPUTAR COMICS STRIPS

FPS SMARTEY MAN SURVIVOR GAEM SHOW!!!!!

INTARVIEWS:

I talked wiht teh Fagorts who aRe working on Tommorrowwwind from Betehesda Sofotwarks!!!1

I HAEV INARVIEWED Levellord of wherevar he works I dont remember and probaly neither dose he!!!

soem wierdos from Gray Mattar - they makeing Return too Castal Wolgenstarn 3D!

JAEK SImpson - star track l33t farce gaem!

Charlier Weiederhofer (Duke Nukam guy)

Scott Warnar (he maed Windy Dale)

Kenn hockestra (he maeds Soldar of Frotune and Star Track gaem)

Cliffry B. - notorious F.A.G from Epeiec software (unreale UGH)

Chris donahaue from nVidia (maeks videao cardes)

NEW NEWS

10-24-2005 - HOTTIEST SUMMAR GAMES OF 2005 REVIEW RIGHT HEAR!!!

OH WAIT IT ISANT SUMMAR

OH WELL

UGH WHAT ASCARE

CLICK HEAR!!!

10-27-2004 I HAVE PALAYED A VARY GOOD GAME AND HAVE REVIEWED IT ITS TEH NEW GRAND THEFT AUGO GAME: GRAD THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDARAS AND HERAEREE IT SI CLICK HERE FOR IT:

CLICK HERE GIVE ME HITS SO I CAN TEACH THOES CRUMB BUMS AT IGN A THING OR TOO ABOUT GOOD JORNALISM

 

01-19-20O3: I HAVE UPDATES MY PAEG WITH A EXCITEING NEW FEATARE I CALL "MY JEFF K."S SUMMAR MOVIE PREVIEWS"

SUMMAR MOVIE PREVIEWS 2003

CLICK HERE

OR DIE A DEATH FROM ME!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!

10-14-2020202: I lieks too have a fun tiem on teh Intarnet sooooooooooo I have made for yuooooooo:

JEFF K."S FUNTIME FUNHOURSE!!!!

its choack full of exciteing games and challagnes and puzzales to bend yuor bind into supple figments, so gives it a shot or two!

09-23-2002:

I haev been palaying a stragety game entitled "WARCART 3" PERHAPS YUO HAVE HEARD OF IT!!!! hahahahahhaa, just kidding, evarybody knows about Warcarft 3! Especially teh CHINESE!!!! so I wrote a Stragety Guide to palaying thes wondarful game so yuo too may one day win a prize with a hay fever!!!

CLICK HEAR TOO READ MY GUIDE TO WARCRAFT 3!!!!

09-16-2020-

I HAEV NOTICED TAHT TEH FACT THAT PENNY ARCADE IS A COMIC STIRIP NOT FIT TO WIPE A PARAKEETS BOSSOM WITH SO I HAEV MADE IT ALLOT BETTAR!!! I PRESENT TOO YUO MY NEW COMIC EXTRAVVANAGNASZA,

JEFF K'S MUSCH BETTAR THAN PENNEY ARACADE COMIC CARTOON STRUIP!!!""

IT'S FOOL OF HUMOR MY FRIEND!!!!!!~~~~

05-20-202:

hear si my report on e3 (ELECTRONICS EXPOSITIAN ELECTRISCITY) - reads is hear or elese DIES FROM MY FISTS!!!

04-26-2200:

GUESS WHAT FLOKS?! GIEV UP?!
I have updaeted my home paeg once again for all of yuo nerds out there! Feast your eyes on thsi morsall:

JE FF K's AUTHORINTATITIVE REVIEW OF TOMORRWOIND!!!!!!! BY JEFFK!!!!!!!!!!!111111

02-25-20022:

WELL WELL WELL
LOOKS LIEK SOMEBODY (ME) HAS UPDATED HIS PAGE OF INTARNATE KNOWLIDGE ONCEMOER!!!! I HAEV WRITTAN AN ARTICAL ENTITELED:

JEFF K"S"S GUIDE TO TEH
USEING TEH INTARNET!!! 2-25-2002

cousin larry

YUO bettar reads it now or else I will go on a hungar strike and taht means Jerry will eat my food for me adn JERRY CANT AFFORD TOO DO THIES!!! HE SI A FAT LITTAL BOY AND IT"D BE BIG TROUBAL IF THES WHERE TOO HAPPAN SO HURRY UP!!!

2-8-2002: TEH SON WHALE COME UP TOMMORROWWWIND!

IOH SHEESH IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME SENCE I LAST UPDATED THSI PAGE FOR YUO JERKS!!!1 ALL OF THE LETTERS ARE INQUWARING WHEN I AM GOING TO UPADATE IT!! TEH TIME HAS COME AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!111111111 I TALKED TO PETAR HEINZ AND TODD HOWARD FROM BETASDA SOFTWROKS ABOUT THERE NEW GAME FOR MMMORPG FANS TOMMORROWWWIND!!!1

TAKE SOME TIME OUT OF YOUR BUZZY SCHEDULES AND GO TO TEH LAND OF RELAXATION WHERE TEH INTARVIEWS

GROW GREENEST!!!!!!

9-27-2001: WELL WELL WELL

I HAEV UPDATED ONCE AGAIN! SORREY I HAVE NOT UPDATE LATTELY BUT I LOST MY PAGE AND IT FELL OUT OF TEH COMPUTAR MACHENE AND I JUST FOUND IT!!!! I AMUSING FTP IN THIS CASE

SO PLEAS GO READ MY FIVE NEW "WACKY FUN COMPUTAR COMIC JOKES" OR ELSE YOULL BE SORREY BCUSAE I WILL KILL YOU! IN QUAEK 3!!!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

AHAHHF

5-9-2001

hey yuo morons I haev updated my siet again with an artical about E3 THIS YEAR!!! ME AND JERRY are going too e3 again and will intarview famos celebridies liek I dont know somebodey!!! but until then I wrote a E3 PREVIEW for anticicpatian of thes exciting event and teh games there and READ IT

READ IT NOW DUMBSHOES!!!

READ IT! GO

4-17-2001

HEY LOOK I HAEV UPDATED MY "ASK JEFF K" COLAMN WERE YUO ASK ME QUAESTIANS AND I ANSWAR THEM!!! SO READ IT OR BEAD IT, BABEY!!! HHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA!!!T

4-02-2001

I HAEV UPDATED MY PAEG WITH A NEW ARTICAL COMPARING TEH UPCOMING CONSOULES AND TELLING YUO WAHT TO BUYS! GO READ IT NOW, ITS SNOY PLAYSTATIAN 2 VS NINTENTNDO GASMECUBE VS. MICORSOFT EX-BOX READ IT NOW!!!!

READ IT NOW, CAKEASS!!!

2-23-2001: evarybodey who works at FRY"S ELECTROANICS SI A MORRON!!!!!!!!!!!! taht's all!

2-21-2001:

I BAUGHT A BIGGAR HARD DRIVE tooday SO I CAN STORE QUALIETY EPIC ENTARTAINMENT GAMES ON IT LIEK UNRALE TORNAMINT AND UNREALE!!!

I STORE THEM IN TEH RECYCLING BIN!!! HAHAHAHahhahahahHAHAHAHAHahahahha aLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO/ ROFFLE~

it si a MAXSTORE and is qualiety!1

2-19-2001: UPDAET #2::

OH NO I GOT AN ENGARY EMAEL FROM A MAD AOL USAR BECAUSE HE'S MAD HES SO DUMB AND I PRINTED HIS LETTAR IN TEH X-E ETNERTANMINT ARTICAL:

FROM: [email protected]
Subject: website

You never requested permission to use the submitted letters on your website, let alone inclue the names of persons who had addressed these letters to you. If they are not taken off within 48 hours legal consequences will follow. Federal Law Freedom of Information - Protection Clause. ver. 27. dated, 1998 (Par. 17 - Freedom of Information Act, 1998 - Whereign the use ofperson or persons names, contact information and/or image directly or indirectly exclosed to the public without written or documented approval is strictly prohibitted. Federal Archives. Case No. 3017 The United States of America v. Henderson.)

 

OH NO!!! AOL LAWYAR ATTACK!!! AAAGGGGGGH oh pleas saev me JESUS and buzz off yuo slobbargoat!!! hahahahahahhahaha fagot1 ~

2-19.2101 - I haev proofen my skills and HAX0RED XE ENTARTANMINT!!!

hear si what how I haXored it (CLICK HEAR)

and oh look , they sents me angry emales! OH HO WHAT UNHAPPEY CAMPARS!!! click hear to reads teh emales they sends me and all teh AOL they use hahahahahahah AOL@

2-13.2001 - I haev added two new comics too my comec strip, "BETTAR THAN PENNEY ARACADE!" GO READS THEM NOWWWWWWWWW I MEAN NOWWW1

BIG FATE NEWS?!

02-06.2101 - I gots back from being in bigs tourbal with teh govarnmint and they saids I was in troubal becuase I was writeing many pro-haX0ring updaets and news postes too help RIP TEH SYSTAM!!! so they made me go up too Washington and said if I dont go too jail I dont go too jail if I change my page and (my hoempage) and write about HELPING PEOPAL not HAX0RING!!!

So I cant write about HAX)RING anymore!!! now I haev to do "commulity service" and write too helps peopal liek fagot AOL usars and peopal who think they use Lunix on washing macheienes!!!!1 but I dont want too go to jail so I Will!

I haev writtan a comic strip called "HELPFUL COMPUTAR HINTS AND HELP WHICH HELPS YUO" and I drew it all by myself and wrote it myslef for commulity servicce! Since its a comic strip for peopal who dont know computars much good, I made it a comic charactar named "DOCTOR HARD DISK" who guides new computar peopal! Go reads it now and its counts as 4 hours for my commulity service and I only have 116 more too go!!!!!

okey thx bye/

-JEFF K!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OLD NEWS

12-19-2000

SINCE I AM TEH LEADERING JONRALIST OF TEH COMPUTAR GAMEING SCENE, I HAEV WRITTAN A REPORT ON WINDOWS WHISTLAR, which si teh OS that Micorsoft will uses too replaces Win2000. PLEAS read my artical and refreshes evary paeg 50 tiems so I gets teh big moneys.

THANK

AND YES JERRY IS A FAGOT

THX

BYE

12-12-2000

I HAVE STARTED TO DRAW A NEW COMIC ADVENTARE STARING LEVELORD TEH CRAZZEY DRUG THEIF!!! IT SI CALLED "LEVELERORD SUPAR LEVELORD SOLVES A MYSTERY" AND IT SI A ROLLARCOASTAR RIDE OF EXCIETMENT SO READS IT NOW JAR JAR BINKS

HEAR IS A PICTARE FROM IT:

THAT IS THE WRONG PICTARE BUT READ IT AAYNYWAY

11-30-2000

TWO NEW THINGS:

1) I HAVE WRITTAN ANOTHAR COLAMN OF "ASK JEFF K>" WERE I RIGHT BACK TO YUOR DUMB EMALES AND SHOW YUO HOW DUMB SOEM PEOPALS ARE NOT LIEK ME WHO SI SMARTY COMPUTAR HERO MAN BOY!!! MAN!!!

2) I HAEV MADE A COMIC CALLED "BETTAR THAN PENNEY ARCADE" BECAUSE I CAN DRAW BETTAR THAN PENY ARCADE AND SENCE IM ON EFONT ANYWAY MAYEB ITS NICE OF ME TO HELP OUT GAB AND TYCHO WITH THERE ARTWROK I THINK THATS NICE!!!

SO GO READ THEM NOW OR

YUO DIE!!! IN QUAKE #3!!!!!!

THX OKEYS BYE!

11-14-2000

I HAVE READ AT [H]ARDCOD THAT DIRECT X 8 IS OUT AND EVARYBODY SI WRITEING ARTICALS ABOUT DIRECT X 8 SO I DECIDEDED TO WRITE ONE MYSELF BECUASE IT CANT BE ANY WORSE THAN TEH CRAP SIETS LIEK SHARKEY'S SEXTREME!!! SO READS IT AND DONT READ SHARKETS EXTREME BECAUSE YUOLL TURN INTO A FRUIT BASKET IF YUO DO AND READ MY REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS HAT HEAD!

11-02-2000!!!

I haev writtan a review of "COmmands and Conquer : Red Alaert 2" and I found it too be a vary poor gaem! READS MY REVIEW PLES THX BYE1

10-17-20000

IN TEH FESTIVE SPIT OF HALLOWWENN, I HAEV MADE A SPOKEY AND HAUNTED SCARREY SPECIAL COMIC!!!!

READ IT NOW!!!

I WILL MAEK MORE! PS: DONT SENDS ME ANY MORE EMALE, CLOWNMOAT1

10-02-20000

I HAEV MADE A SCARRY FASLH MOVIE ABOUT HALLOWEEN OR CRISTMAS OR WHATEVAR ITS OVAR ON GEESE MAGAZINE.COM AND IT SAYS LOTAX HELPED ME BUT HE DIDANT DO ANYTHING SO IT LIED ANYWAYS SO GO READ IT THANKS FLYHEADS!

9-28-20000

Since evarybodey else has a hardwear reviews site, I haev made my own "JEFF K.'S HARDWARE BLOCK!!!" pleas sends me emale with yuor hardware siet news and informatian and i will puts it on my page and link me too yuor site so I GETS HITS!!!

HEAR SI TEH LINK TOO MY HARDWEAR PAGE!

i will be more populare than all those othar siets so hurray up and emale me and sends me links and newses!!!! OR ELSE YUOR getting my wrath!!

9-22-20000

ANOTHAR INTARVIEW! THES TIEM WITH TEH GUYS BEHIND GRAY MATTAR STUDIOS! THEY are maeking "RERUN To Castal Wolfenterstein #D!" they were vary nice (fagots) and gave me a lots of excluseive informatian (for fagots) and are vary entrtaining (fagots) so ples reads there intarview (yuo fagots).

THANKS FLYHEAD!!!!

9-15-20000

I HAEV INTARVIEWED "JAEK SIMPSON" OF RAVVEN SOFTWARES, HE MAEKS TEH GAME "SOLDAR OF FORTUNE" AND "HERETIC @" AND "START TRACK L33T FARCE"

READ TEH INTARVIEW

PS: HE THINKS HES FUNNEY MAN BUT HES JUST A CRAZZY BUG>

9-14-200

I HAEV BEEN ENHANCEING MY FALSH SKILLS TOO TEH NEXT LEVAL!!! CHECKS OUT MY USAR FREIDNLEY ANIMATED COMIC I MAED SO COMPANYS WILL GIVE ME MONEYS!!!

GO WATCH IT NOWW!

AND IF TEH SOUND ISNT RIGHT THEN YUOR COMPUTAR IS SUCKS!!!!

9-7-200

AS YUO CAN PROBLY TELL, I HAEV USED TEH POWAR OF FALSH TO ENHANCE MY WEBPAEG I HAEV EZXPANDED MY HAX0RING SKILLS TO ANOTHAR DIMENSIAN. G>

8-22-2000" i haev made some more Wackey Fun COmputar Comics ples reads them THANKS FLYHEADS!!!

8-18-2000: I am sorrey i haev not been updateing my paeg taht much but I am vary busey with stuff> Jerry and me are Trying too builds a robot from stuff at Radio Schack and it si going vary good. hear are soem pictares OH YEAH I gots a lettar from an importeant man who wants too buys my siet I thinks! LOOK:

From: GREG KASAVIN
SUBJECT: business proposal

As an elite games site representative, it's my job to seek out the best talent and assimilate it into the vast, profitable ZDNet network of games sites and other URLs. How in the hell do you know so much? I must have your secrets. You don't respond to your other email, but you'll respond to this one, because, like you, I am extremely important. Stop the moralism! Your comics were better when you were shooting people in the head, and Karnov vs. Quake 3 is better than Killcreek. And you need to keep all your Pokemon pictures in one place. Also, you must respond to this.

Sincerely,

Greg Kasavin

HE IS FROM GAMESTOP A SENOR EDITAR there!!! i do not know waht teh buisness propoasal is though. i hoep he writes back too gives me moneys. if not he gets THE OLD PUNCH!!!!

SPECAL UPDATE : STOP EMALEING ME GREG!!!!!!!!!1 yuor a nusance!

* JEFF K!!!!!!! ****

NEWS BOXE ENTAR NEWS HEAR:

8-16-2000: I HAEV REDESIGNED MY SIET AGANE BECAUSE TEH LAST ONE WASANT SHOWING UP IN LUNIX SO MAEYBE THES ONE SI BETTAR. EMALE ME IF YUO LIEKS IT I WILL BE ADDING MORE ANAMATED JIFFS TOO LATAR okey

* JEFF K!!!!!!! ****

NEWS BOXE ENTAR NEWS HEAR:

8-15-2000: i haev redeigesiend my siet. i am MASTAR OF HTAML. I was going too uses Frames but I didant know how and I dont want too learn becayse Im too busey for thes!!! I will maek new comics soon and maeybe writes an artical. UNTIL THEN DONT WRITE AND DONT EMALE ME BECAUSE I WONT ANSWAR IT!!!!!!!!

all teh articals and stuff i haev done are on teh left colamn okaey#

* JEFF K!!!!!!! ****

 


i haev gottan a LOT of emale lately becayse i am now populare ! I WILL MAKE A FAKQ LIKE THRASH ABOUT ME! my facq will be abvout my informatian MY NAME IS JEFF K and i am l33t i haX0r and code mods for QUAKE 2 and WQUAKE 3 and I review vidEO CARDS AND AUDIO CARDS if yuo are a person that works for NVIDIA and 3DFX, emale me and I will review yuor new cards i will do a good job because Im not a dumb fagot like those other guys!!!!! I also maek Quaaek mods, my new mod is REAL POPULAR I AM ALMOST SDONE it has laser guns and VIETNAME TROOPARZ and guns

COPYRIGHT JEFF k 20000 adn sSOMETHING AWFEUL