SUMMAR PREVIEW FOR "LORD OF TEH 2 TOWARS PART 2: RETURN
OF TEH KING"
Baggins " - Elijah Woods
"Sam Gangreen" - James Woods
"Elf Fagot" - Tigar woods
"Wizzard Fagot" - Woody Harrelson
"Drawf Fagot" - Wood WOdoods
AN ELF, AAAUGH!!!
Lord of Teh Rings" was a movie about a movie before "The
Twin Two Towards Part 2" whitch was about a brave and
nobal Hobbit Drawf who wanted too save teh worald from a evil
wizzard named "Sourman" and his evil partnar in
crime "Aquaman." They had all of teh rings but needed
teh Hobbot ring to rule teh Earth and take everybodys stuff,
so Forodo and his two hobbot friends leaved to take teh Ring
and throws it into a mountain stream were Sourman couldant
find it because it was undar a montain. BUT thes long jorney
would be long and difficult and take 100000 hours and make
evarybody fall asleep because half of teh movie was about
a homeless man dreaming about elf women. BORRRRING
is friends with teh homeless guy who has swords, a elf who
is vary much of teh fagot persusasioan, and a drawve who is
fagot friends with teh elf. OH and a wizzard who dosant evar
cast spells, witch maeks him a really shitty wizzard no mattar
how yuo looks at it. I think he si a union wizard becuase
he nevar dose anything except stand around and act liek hes
smartar than evarybody else while they all do teh work for
him, then when theire done he comes in and says "A bird
in teh hand is wroth two bushes" and evarybody says "WOW
THANKS FOR TEH INSIGHT, GANDALF!!!" and he nods his head.
I cant watch any of teh ringy movies becuase they puts me
too sleep and I dont want to sleep watching movies becuase
our couch smells like yak. BUT I dont want to keep exciteing
movie news away from yuo nice peopal becuse I am a jornalist
and I dont let my impartial views ostruct justice!!! NO SIR!!!
SO here are teh tips I got about thes exciting upcomeing movie:
SUBJECT: LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE
KING, PART 2
Jeff K., I have some information for you about "The
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Part 2". Although
many people do not know it, this movie is based off an obscurre
(sp?) book written by L. Ron Hubbard. It is an annallogie
(sp?) about World War I and mustard gas. I do not remember
the name of the book, but it had the word "Creature
Attack" in its title.
"The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Part 2,"
Frodo must continue his quest with his other Hobbit friend
Sam to throw the dastardly ring into the lava before the
evil king can get it and command his army of trolls and
trolls to attack the piece loving citizens of the Earth.
This was before we invented jet planes and windmills, so
you do not seem the same kind of technical stuff that we
have these days. Despite this, there are still many special
effects used in this movie (like in "The Matrix 2").
A hobbit is magically flung into the air when a burst of
wind flies from an ape's buttocks,
2) There is a scene of a castle on fire, yet they did not
actually light a real castle on fire (it was done on the
3) A computer animated created says "my previous"
allot even though he's not real (he's a computer animation).
are many battle scenes in this movie, which is good because
it is 9 hours long. There are men fighting trolls, elves
fighting trolls, and trolls fighting trolls. There is a
wizard. There is also a sword which stabs a person in the
stomach. I cannot wait for this movie to be shown, as it
wraps up the excellently produced "Lords of the Ring"
PS: Jeff, get on ICQ and send me a message about my Playstation,
this is really getting stupid, and I left three messages
on your answering machine, I know you are home, pick up
so maybes yuolll liek thes movie if yuo palay Dungons and
Draggons a lot but not me becuase taht fagot crap si for fagorts
and no OL JEFF K!!!! I HATE ELFES, I HATE DRAWFES, I HATE
DRAGGONS AND DUBLOONS!!! so I will not be attending this movie
becuase if I go then I will haev too bring my Magic: Teh Gardening
palaying cards with me or else I will be slobbared on by a
fat trolls army of patrons who demands a kings ransom in fools
gold. I DO NOT ROLL 20 SIDED DICE FOR A FUN TIME, GRIMCHEESE!!!!
4: TEH FAST AND THE FURRIOAS PART 2