|JEFF K’s AUTHORINTATITIVE REVIEW OF TOMORRWOIND!!!!!!! BY JEFFK!!!!!!!!!!!111111|
TECHNICEL SPCEFICATIANS - Tommorrowwind is a game of powerful enterprases that requires a HI END computar from DELL. My mom wanted to get a COMPACT computer and I told her that there computars are crud on a cracker! They are too small to get anyathing done with except maybe some knitting software for GRANTMA! My system was the new Dell INTEL PEMPTIUM V GIGABIT WITH BLAST PROCESSAING.
This game won't play on your daddys hambone machine, so toss it out with the soup and get a Dell. Jerry asked if it could play on his speak and math and I told him no BUT MAYBE YOUR SPEAK AND SPELL FAGOT!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 HAHA!
PLOTS SUMMER - In this gaem you live anothers live and explore another world so there is no plot to be found on the horizons or on teh beaches. I made a cyclopses as my character and you can hit teh button and it says "CHARACTER STORAY" or something and I typed in this to get teh balls rolilng.
I started out on teh boat from Cyclopse Island and a guard comes into tell me that the breakfast is on teh table and to get to the top of the boat. I went into a building and (we were at a dock for breakfast) talked to teh monk who asked me who I am and I said JEFFK! and I am rady to whaled my two fists of furry for the Cylcops King and his beerd! I picked skills galoar.
This part of the game is SO BORING. PEople tell you to go evarywhare and then you go and talk to this guy and he gives you SASS. So I punchad him in the head with my furry and he said "oh No JEFFK! YOUR CRAIMS AGAINST MY HUMINATY HAVE BEN REPORTED!" but he let me slide with a warning evary time I punched him. HE gave me a bunch of stuipd papers and told me to go outside and get some fresh air in teh town.
The town was vary crowded with nair do whales and they were very contrary when I was speekaing to them.
"WHERE IS TEH HAT STORE BUSTAR?"
I would say and they would say.
"There are maany intaresting sites and smels in Sdayayeen, so haves a looksee in the booksee mistar cylcops!"
I ran around them and tried hiding out but they caught me peaking through the branches in the bog and it was Smokeys and the Bandits all ovar again! They were quite a gang on my heels and the pursuit was giving me heartbeeps.
I talked to this customar and he siad he had some warez to offar. Haha, no, not Doom II or Raise of the Triad, it was armors and swords this time. A Cyclosp like me has no use for armors and swords but a janty hat would come in handy whit the ladies so I asked him about his hat stocks. He has three hats for me and I tried on one but I accidentilly bought the hat insted of just trying it on and the transauction went awry! This was a raw deal for Cyclops JeffK and cyclopsis nevar stand for skulldougary.
My careful stratergy fell apart than becuase the game is gay and has peoiple who spawn upstares at the shops and houses when you start punching teh bad guys. They all came runing down and joined the fiesty farcas with me. I punchad one lady out cold but it was too much evan for my combat expartese and brave cyclopses honor. At last they brought me down to teh floor with their trickary.
VAREITIES - First of all thsi game is vary short. From teh moment I stepped into my Cylcops boots to teh moment I fell on teh floor it was only twenty minuets. Even Toe Jam and Erals lasted an hour!!!1 There was no continues ether which makes the game HARD. I know it si coming out for Xbox ladeis but you could put some save crsytals or type wraiter ribbons in there for me, thank you sir. Teh fun of the game for most fagorts like Jerry is that you cna play all kinds of differant adverntures, althoguh why you would want to be anaything but a Cyclops is beyond me!! Here are some of the things you can play:
Teh list goes on but use yuor imagination like Colonel Laforge says on Star Trak: reading rainbow.
THEAR ARE A LOT OF DISAPIONTMENTS: First of all and most improtantly you cant get fat, you can only drink potsions and not eat stakes and lam chops and it would take too long to drink potions to get fat. CYLCOPSES NEED A BIG BELLAY TO BE STRONG: I TOLD THEM TAHT IN TEH HORRABLE INTERVIEW AND THEY INGORED ME. No wondar I was in the grave in not ime, I was as skinny as a tadpole.
This wsa supposad to be a MMROPG, but ware were teh MMRs? Not O I can tell you taht budday!!1 I typed SOW PLZ at least five billian times and no one helped and no JMs ever came to healp me out of a tihgt spot. When I took my pants off I tried to auction them but no one was buying, THEY WHERE BRAND NEW PANTS, FRESH OFF THE BOAT!!!!! What is a clycops going to do with pants? Not sell them in this mess heap that's for sure!