DET. GOMBO SEZ: Listen up, porks! When a stranger comes up to you on the Internet you should never talk to them. Not even about Gundams. Just tell them to try messaging "yo mommy" and then give them some all-pro BLOCKIN.
D2A-AlabooAckbar: Greetings to you good sir
D2A-AlabooAckbar: Word on the inside underground internet is that you are a man who knows things
DaBorg: lol really
DaBorg: about what
D2A-AlabooAckbar: You know what to do with the right tools if you know what I mean
DaBorg: no sry
D2A-AlabooAckbar: Do you like guns?
DaBorg: i guess
D2A-AlabooAckbar: What about bombs?
DaBorg: like fireworks?/
D2A-AlabooAckbar: You could say like diabolical fireworks
DaBorg: sure yeah
DaBorg: roman candal fight w my brother last year was sweet
D2A-AlabooAckbar: Excellent, so you like fighting?
DaBorg: for fun yeah im a lover tho lol
D2A-AlabooAckbar: What if I told you I could help you with your fight?
D2A-AlabooAckbar: I have access to the tools that will help you in your war against the oppressors
DaBorg: nah my bro is cool
D2A-AlabooAckbar: I speak of the Zionics and the Great Satan
DaBorg: like bible stuff?
D2A-AlabooAckbar: Yes that also
DaBorg: like what tho?
D2A-AlabooAckbar: Guns my friend and material to make bombs for the G-hod
DaBorg: i dont have much money
D2A-AlabooAckbar: Free of charge to a brother in the cause. Just go to this website and you will know everything to make illegal bombs and receive a shipment of illegal guns.
DaBorg: ok hang on
DaBorg: DUDE B.S.
Detective Don Gombo: YES IT IS BULL SPIT TO THINK YOU COULD FURTHER YOUR WAR AGAINST AMERICA BY UTILIZING AMERICA'S INTERNET
Detective Don Gombo: BY CLICKING THAT LINK YOU AUTHORIZED YOUR COMPUTER AS PART OF THE WAR AGAINST ISRAEL AND DEATH TO AMERICA NOW YOUR ARE A PART OF THE NETCOPS ANTI-TERRORIST DATABASE
DaBorg: aim not a terroist!!!
Detective Don Gombo: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS AND YOUR WORDS ARE ALL LIES BUT YOUR ACTIONS TELL THE TALE OF THE TAPE AND THAT TAPE CONNECTS YOU TO GLOBAL TERRORISM
DaBorg: fuck yuo dude quit fuckin around
Detective Don Gombo: YOUR HORRIBLE CURSES WILL NOT SAVE YOU FROM THE JUSTICE OF THE INTERNET
Detective Don Gombo: I LAUGH TO THINK THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD USE ME AS A PAWN IN YOUR GAME TO DESTROY THE PIECE LOVER PEOPLE OF AMERICA
Detective Don Gombo: WE ARE EVER VIGILANT IN OUR VIGIL TO PROTECT THE INTERNET FROM EVIL DOORS LIKE YOU
DaBorg: i am not an evil doer
Detective Don Gombo: NOT ANYMORE! THE ONLY EVIL YOU WILL BE DOING NOW WILL BE THE EVIL YOU DO TO YOURSELF AT NIGHT IN A BUNK IN YOUR JAIL CELL. FEDERAL INTERNET JAIL!
DaBorg: FUCK YOU I AM NOT A TRREORIST
Detective Don Gombo: I HOPE YOU LEARNED A VALUE BULL LESSON TODAY AND THAT IS TERRORISM DOES NOT PAY YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IT LONG AND HARD WHILE YOU ARE BEHIND BARS
DaBorg has signed off*******
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.