StaceY - They sound reaelly complex tho. :-
Lowtax - They're pretty complex but I know what I'm doing.
Lowtax - I just downloaded a toast recipe from the Internet!!!
StaceY - :-P from where?
Lowtax - The Internet!!! See, let me copy some of it for you:
STEP 1: GET BREAD
StaceY - What else can it do??? brb
Lowtax - Well I don't know yet, I'm not a technical person. I just downloaded toast so I'm going to see what the next step is.
Lowtax - Oooh, I don't have any fan belts, I don't know how I'm going to be able to do step 2.
Lowtax - Hey Stacey, do you sell fan belts on your site?
Lowtax - Nevermind, I guess you don't. But I still want that Mastercard because my credit is shit because of that stupid thing at the zoo and the surgery I needed afterwards.
Lowtax - Hey Stacey, where did you go? Did you die? Ha ha, just kidding. No seriously, did you die?
Lowtax - Yo Beanbagz, what's the haps?
StaceY - sorry!!! I'm back!! I had to take care of some buisness. What's your email address?? Can I email you abotu advertissing on our product service webpage??
Lowtax - Yeah, send all the email you want to my address, firstname.lastname@example.org. My name's Sam Jain.
StaceY - cool!!! :-P
Lowtax - Okay, I'm moving over to the eNetiConAppliance Refrigerator to get some bread because I put all my bread inside so it doesn't get moldy or whatever bread usually does. One sec, I'll message you from there.
Lowtax - HI SANDY!!!
StaceY - My name's StaceY!! :-O
Lowtax - Sorry Sandy! I'm sending you this message from my fridge, it's got a builtin monitor and keypad so it can download the correct temperatures to store things inside! It also has a barcode reader but I don't ever have the time to draw those stupid barcodes on every piece of lettuce I own so I just took the barcode marker and threw it into the lake because computers are supposed to make our lives easier, you know?!?
Lowtax - YOU KNOW!?!?
StaceY - LOL! Yeah I know what your sayin :-)))
Lowtax - Your little smile there has like five chins, he must be some fat guy with marriage problems. Not like me though, I don't have a wife anymore because I told her to leave one night when I was sleeping and I let her take most of my stuff because I didn't want it anyway.
Lowtax - You want to see something real cool? Hold on a sec...
StaceY - k...
Lowtax - Hi Sandy! I'm posting this INSIDE THE REFRIGERATOR!!!
StaceY - LOL!!! :-P~~
Lowtax - Seriously! The monitor and keypad flip off so you can use it when you open the door and look inside. I helped test this thing, and I told the engineers that I didn't want to have to keep shutting and opening the door just to read what I was looking at. So the thing has a really long cable that you can detach and use to check it out inside the fridge!
StaceY - C00L!!! How much will that cost do you think?? I'd want to buy once since I'm so disorganized and my kitchen is so sloppy my husaband would love it :-P~~
Lowtax - I don't know, I'm not in marketing. I just test the things and then Dennis Fong comes over and tells me to keep testing or else he'll fire me and he makes me test all these things out in my home no matter where I live or move to.
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.