Lowtax - Yo Jmbo, what's cooking, bg man?
Jimbo - Hello!
Lowtax - You been followng the Chefs news?
Jimbo - Yes I have!
Lowtax - Thats fantastc, because me sure as hell haven't. You remember that fuckng brd flyng around the place?
Jimbo - From yesterday?
Lowtax - You got a great memory there Jmmy. Yeah, that brd. Anyway, t was flyng all over the fuckng place lke some lttle spaz and 'm throwng sht at t sayng "MARYELLE, GET YOUR FUCKNG BRD BACK NTO TS FUCKNG CAGE OR 'M GONG TO COOK THE FUCKNG THNG!!!" cause the lttle bastard shts all over my stuff when t gets out. The last thng need on my pants s a wad of brd sht, you understand?
Jimbo - Sounds like an obnoxsious bird. Why are you typing like that?
Lowtax - 'm gettng to that, Jmmy. So anyways, there am, throwng books and sht at that lttle fucker and my wfes just gong nuts, screamng about not httng her brd and sht. So says, "MARYELLE, F YOU DDN'T WANT THAT BRD TO GET T'S SHT KCKED, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET T OUT OF TS FUCKNG CAGE!" and t was just nuts. then the fuckng bastard craps all over my keyboard, and now can't use the key (between the u and o key) because t's caked wth sht and doesnt fuckng work no more.
Jimbo - The "I" key?
Lowtax - You got t, Jmmy.
Jimbo - What a terrible bird. Doesn't she train it? My wife's sister has a bird. A pocket parrot I think? Have you heard of those?
Lowtax - That's swell, Jmmy, but me dont care about that rght now. Got a bgger problem on my hands, cause that lttle fucker sht all over the keyboard and 've got no clue how to clean t out.
Jimbo - You should probably just buy a new keyboard for your computer.
Lowtax - Jimmy, o got to go now, clean ths sht out of the keyboard, m gonna put the thng n the dshwasher or some sht. bbl
Jimbo - In the dishwasher?
Jimbo - Why?
Jimbo - Don't put it into the dishwasher!
Jimbo - Are you there?
Jimbo - You'll lose your keyboard if you put it in the dishwasher!
Jimbo - Denny? Hello?
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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