Lowtax - Yo Jmbo, what's cooking, bg man?
Jimbo - Hello!
Lowtax - You been followng the Chefs news?
Jimbo - Yes I have!
Lowtax - Thats fantastc, because me sure as hell haven't. You remember that fuckng brd flyng around the place?
Jimbo - From yesterday?
Lowtax - You got a great memory there Jmmy. Yeah, that brd. Anyway, t was flyng all over the fuckng place lke some lttle spaz and 'm throwng sht at t sayng "MARYELLE, GET YOUR FUCKNG BRD BACK NTO TS FUCKNG CAGE OR 'M GONG TO COOK THE FUCKNG THNG!!!" cause the lttle bastard shts all over my stuff when t gets out. The last thng need on my pants s a wad of brd sht, you understand?
Jimbo - Sounds like an obnoxsious bird. Why are you typing like that?
Lowtax - 'm gettng to that, Jmmy. So anyways, there am, throwng books and sht at that lttle fucker and my wfes just gong nuts, screamng about not httng her brd and sht. So says, "MARYELLE, F YOU DDN'T WANT THAT BRD TO GET T'S SHT KCKED, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET T OUT OF TS FUCKNG CAGE!" and t was just nuts. then the fuckng bastard craps all over my keyboard, and now can't use the key (between the u and o key) because t's caked wth sht and doesnt fuckng work no more.
Jimbo - The "I" key?
Lowtax - You got t, Jmmy.
Jimbo - What a terrible bird. Doesn't she train it? My wife's sister has a bird. A pocket parrot I think? Have you heard of those?
Lowtax - That's swell, Jmmy, but me dont care about that rght now. Got a bgger problem on my hands, cause that lttle fucker sht all over the keyboard and 've got no clue how to clean t out.
Jimbo - You should probably just buy a new keyboard for your computer.
Lowtax - Jimmy, o got to go now, clean ths sht out of the keyboard, m gonna put the thng n the dshwasher or some sht. bbl
Jimbo - In the dishwasher?
Jimbo - Why?
Jimbo - Don't put it into the dishwasher!
Jimbo - Are you there?
Jimbo - You'll lose your keyboard if you put it in the dishwasher!
Jimbo - Denny? Hello?
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.