Lowtax - Oh, I did not mention: in automoble accidente I win lawsuit for, I had damage to my throat / windbox, I cannot speaks well, which is the reason I use computer much (unhappy face). I can speak, but it sounds like much trumpet up dog's inside body parts (is that the slang? I am not good)
Brandon - don't worry my friend! ICQ can be confusing. I'm sorry to hear that you can't speak very well, we can use ICQ that's fine.
Lowtax - Yes, I am apologizing for the bad English, I try to use slang that I read and I can't always make the best formulation, do you understand?
Brandon - yes I fully understand. I can understand everything that you are saying. Your english is very good
Lowtax - Oh, thank you for the compliment! I try to learn very much, you know? I read many websites and books about Vietnam, get the lingo correct, right Charlie in the trees, watch out for gooks! But anyway, we were talking about the investments! How does your company make money from the selling of nuts?
Brandon - well, our situation is kind of hard to explain We make a profit off of the export of our tropical fruits and nuts. We don't have to report any taxes, which really helps. Costa Rica is a land of many opportunities.
Lowtax - Yes, I have heard of the wealth of Costa Rica, many exports such as fruits and items? Many workers too, a country rich in minerals like salt? Do you do mining of minerals and party shows? many companys do these days
Brandon - no we don't mine any minerals. Just grow plants etc
Lowtax - Oh! Not any plants that are illegal, I would hope! You know, drugs are rampant in those parts! That would be a bad investment!
Brandon - NO NO! We don't do anything illegal such as drugs etc. Don't worry. We grow plants such as Orchids, Heliconias, Roses, Ginger Flowers etc Sorry for misleading you
Lowtax - NO MOTHER, I WILL DO THAT LATER, I CANNOT LEAVE HOUSE YET, MY HANDS ARE CHAINED PLEASE STOP ICQING ME
Lowtax - Oh, that is okey, I just see the articles on the Internet and get worried sometimes, understand?
Brandon - yes there's lots of stuff floating around the internet and offshore that is illegal. We are 100% legitimate
Lowtax - Oh that is good... you know how the bad the Internet can be. Many investments, many bad peoples!
Brandon - Many other offshore investing companies require you to spend $1000's of dollars just to open an account with them. Then you have to "sponsor" or "refer" other people into the business before you can make any money. We don't have any hidden costs. You never have to pay anything more than what your bond costs with us.
Lowtax - Bond? My brother was in the prison once, we must had to gather much bail bond to free him. Do you sell in prisons then?
Brandon - no this kind of bond is totally different. bond has many different meanings in english, this kind of bond is a bond which gains interest for you. so if you buy a $10,000 5 year bond, at the end of 5 years we send you $24,883 These bonds have absolutely no associate with a bail bond
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.