Lowtax - You want to know why I was writing that stuff on the site?
JuGGaLo - yeh, u betta xplain youself becuz u gotta a lotta clownz ready to beat ur azz
Lowtax - Okay here it is for real d00d: I didnt mean any of that shit on the site, I just wrote it so da Feminem fans would email me saying "way to diss on da Clownz" and then I write back and I'm like "shit yeah dawg" and theyre like "peas out" and then I take there email addresses and sell them to gay porn spam lists, so I gots all these Feminem fans signed up for gay porn dude
JuGGaLo - LOL
JuGGaLo - LOL dude thats a a f**kin hilarous, I f**kin hate those Feminem fagz
Lowtax - yeh but it sux cuz I be gettin all dis hate from my ICP brothahs because I'm in da lowdown clown disguised mode, ya know?
JuGGaLo - how many Fem fagz u get singed up 4 the gay porn?
Lowtax - ppl be hatin me, they be sayin shit like "oh snap, u bettah not be dissin on da clownz" an I gotta keep playin em because I wanna totally dis on the Fem fanz and prank there stupid asses
Lowtax - I swear, those guys are so dumb they dont even know when theyre bein pranked, ya know?
JuGGaLo - yeh, theyre all f**kin stupid gay ass fagz, good job man
Lowtax - well evrything I do I do for da clownz, ya know?
JuGGaLo - reprazent
Lowtax - yeah, reprevent. So how long u been down wit da clownz?
JuGGaLo - for bout a year or so, I got all their CDs n bootlegs
Lowtax - yeah I got boot legs too, from the war
Lowtax - me an my posse went to see ICP in LTBS on AS23, it was kickin' rad.
JuGGaLo - yeah, Im from Detroit (but I live in NC now) so I remeber them from back in tha day
Lowtax - yeah da dayz of wine and rosez, I remember them 2 man. So whos ur fav ICP d00d?
JuGGaLo - Shaggy, did u go 2 the Gathering?
Lowtax - nah man I dont play Magic - the Gathering, that shits 4 f*ggots.
JuGGaLo - no, tha Gathering of tha Juggalos '02?
Lowtax - OH THAT GATHERING, no I couldant mak it, I got a case of syphallis (sp?)
JuGGaLo - it was pretty tight, y didnt u come?
Lowtax - I told u, I got sick with rigormortis, my mom wouldnt let me go cuz the doctrs had 2 take out my ball bladder.
JuGGaLo - ti was pretty tight
Lowtax - yh thats wht I hear man, I herd it wuz pretty tite
JuGGaLo - yeh
Lowtax - yeh
Lowtax - im guna catch em in Iowa for da tour on Jaunary 25th if my mom will let me
Lowtax - she alwayz be liek "randy why u be seeing them clownz" and Im like "mom Im down with the clonez" and shez liek "Randy do ur homwork, ICP dont prech enuff bout Jesus" and Im like "f**k you b**ch" and I f**king turn ovr tables n shit, make a real mess, it freekz her out man
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.