phoenix - why furniture?
Lowtax - WE WANTED A CHALLENGE. IT'S EASY TO REPRODUCE HOLOGRAMS OF PEOPLE AND PRESIDENTS AND ANIMALS AND BEARS, BUT NOBODY HAS EVER MADE HOLOGRAPHIC FURNITURE BEFORE BECAUSE IT'S SO HARD.
Lowtax - FURNITURE IS THE TRUE TEST OF SKILL IN THE HOLOGRAM / LASER INDUSTRY. WE'RE VERY CLOSE TO MAKING IT HAPPEN MY FRIEND.
phoenix - kewl, people have made holographic people already? how come nobody has this? u think it would be in the newspapers or sometihing.
Lowtax - IT'S A GOVERNMENT CONTRACT. PUBLIC SECTOR GETS THE INFORMATION ON HOW TO BUILD ONE ABOUT THREE YEARS AFTER THE GOVERNMENT HAS IT. YOU WILL PROBABLY START HEARING ABOUT IN IN 2 YEARS OR SO.
phoenix - woah, thats really neat.
Lowtax - YOU BET, PAL. WE'RE GOING TO MARKET A BIG LINE OF HOLOGRAPHIC RUGS SOON. I MEAN, ITS A GENIUS IDEA. ALL YOU DO IS PUT THE HOLOGRAPHIC LASER ON THE GROUND AND IT MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A FANCY RUG THERE.
Lowtax - I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL DOES A RUG DO ANYWAY? IT JUST COVERS UP A PATCH OF YOUR UGLY CARPET. BUT NOBODY WANTS RUGS BECAUSE THEY'RE SO HEAVY AND YOU CANT PICK THEM UP BECAUSE THEY WEIGH SO MUCH. NOW YOU CAN BRING YOUR RUG ANYWHERE - THE LIVING ROOM, BATHROOM, WORK, OUT CAMPING, ANYWHERE!
Lowtax - EXCEPT THE ZOO.
phoenix - why not the zoo?
Lowtax - ANIMALS HATE ARGON!!! THEY GO CRAZY!
phoenix - ohhhh, i didnt knwo that
Lowtax - THEY START RUNNING AROUND AND VOMITING AND KNOCKING EVERYTHING OVER! ITS A MESS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!
phoenix - why do they do thayt?
Lowtax - I DONT KNOW, THEY JUST GO NUTS WHEN THEIR BRAINS BECOME IONIZED PLASMA FOR SOME REASON.
phoenix - crazy
Lowtax - YOU BET.
Lowtax - WHAT DO YOU DO?
phoenix - im a student
Lowtax - NO, THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT.
phoenix - what did u mean?
Lowtax - I MEAN WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SOMEBODY SHINES AN ARGON-ION GAS LASER INTO YOUR EYES?
phoenix - i dont know, Ive never seen one.
Lowtax - MAYBE YOU SHOULD COME DOWN FOR SOME EXPERIMENTS. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
phoenix - lol, no way
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.