Lowtax - NO REALLY, IT'LL BE FUN. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

phoenix - im not intersted, thx

Lowtax - JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU LIVE, I'LL MEET YOU SOMEWHERE.

Lowtax - I'VE GOT A LASER IN THE BACK OF MY VAN.

phoenix - no way, im not into that kind of stuff

Lowtax - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ITS SCIENCE, NOT "STUFF"

Lowtax - LISTEN, WE'RE EVENTUALLY GOING TO FIND YOU ANYWAY.

Lowtax - JUST MEET US AT THE DENNY'S AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO SEE ANOTHER LASER AGAIN.

Lowtax - I PROMISE

Lowtax - HELLO?

Lowtax - HEY PAL, YOU HERE?

Lowtax - DID I WIN THAT $500,000,000 YET?

Lowtax - You can make quick bucks EASY!!! Microsoft and AOL have merged and are working on their new version of ICQ, so forward this message to everybody on your ICQ list! You could win up to $1,000 per forwarding! Please send this to everybody on your list!

Lowtax - THERE'S NO WAY I CAN LOSE NOW!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Pranks [ICQ]

This Week on Something Awful...

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    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.