Nate - Well then.. Is your dream worth an evening of your time on Feb8th to see THE business model for the internet?
Lowtax - I cannot stop my Internet business dream! It refreshes my power-spirit every day of existance! I walk the fire-path with this dream! My aura seethes with the truth, Nate!
Feb. 8th though? Isn't that a Tuesday? I can't do anything on Tuesdays, I play "Magic: The Gathering" then.
Nate - You'll just have to ask yourself if "Magic" is more important than your financial freedom
Lowtax - "Magic: The Gathering" is the driving force behind my psychic awareness! I tread the zones and walk the lines! I am the power broker, dealing a deckful of cards as my infinite gravitation!
Please, before I commit to your ideas, tell me more! I don't want to give up my afternoon if I don't know what I'm doing it for! I'll have to set my VCR to tape "Star Trek: Voyager".
Nate - I can understand that. a few seemingly simple q's:
Have you ever bought anything ionline?
Lowtax - Oh gosh, no, not yet! I've heard reports of phone freaks stealing credit cards online! I'm waiting until Netscape and AOL make a better way to transfer my data-card information so people cannot steal it!
But the Internet is the Information Superhighway, the wave of the future, so I believe it is only a matter of time, my friend! Virtual Reality!
Nate - IE5 and the e-commerce site I am affilited with are very secure.... you don't have to trust me on that if you wish.. But you will agree that most people will be buying 50% of everything the buy online by 2004
Lowtax - Oh, I positively agree with that!
Nate - that's good. how BIG a piece of that 1 trillion dolar pie do you want?
Lowtax - 1 TRILLION? That's 9 zeroes, right?
Wow! I want as much as I can get, Nate! I am totally in the spirit cave! But how will this be possible, Nate?
Nate - Well! I know you don't shop online... just yet... but you know of peopl who do or could right
Lowtax - Oh yes, Nate, my more "technical" buddies buy Dragonball-Z videos all the time on the Internet!
Nate - Whoudl these same peopl happen to buy say... shampoo, tp, cd's, soap... etc?.... either online or not?
Lowtax - Oh, I bet they would! I don't think my friend Jerry has left his house in months! He runs a very successful website from his house, "The Man Train"! I think it's porn! I heard they had porn on the Internet!
But yes, soap and shampoo is a good idea! Maybe pets and jumproap too, for the children!
Nate - And how about about 10,000 other products and partner stores like Office max, CD universe, Franklin Covey, IBM.....and about 50 more and growing
Lowtax - Sounds like a world of opportunity and products a mere mouseclick away! This idea soars on the wind-plane, for sure!
But it must be hard to get started. I don't have the SLIGHTEST clue how to begin my own business! I am a lost soul in the realm of eternal slumber.
Nate - That's ok.. really. We provide all the training so long as the person is truly opne to learn and is excited. ... and won't nickle-and-dime their business
Lowtax - Well, I have many exciting and proactive ideas for an Internet business which I believe would be useful, but haven't been done before! Here are some of them!
I would like to run a site called "stoplight.com" which shows the color of the stoplight outside my apartment! This way, people could go to the website to see what color it is, and if they should take that road! It'd save them a TON of time!
Lowtax - And how about an online hospital? Sometimes I get weird rashes and stuff, but I don't want to go to a hospital... they should have online doctors!
Nate - LOL that;s funny
Lowtax - What's so funny?
Nate - You have very cool ideas.... just can't really see the profit potential
Lowtax - I would run banner ads for CNET and ZDNET! And AOL!
Nate - that'll get you pocket change at least
Lowtax - Oh, I don't want that! I want a BIG piece of this Virtual Reality pie!
Nate - So tell me then how BAD do you want it ?
Lowtax - Oh Nate, I want it BAD!!! Praise Gaia, I want it BAD, Nate!
Nate - Then I highly reccomend attending that meeting I extended the offer on
Lowtax - I want it BAD and NOW, Nate!
Lowtax - Well, friend, where shall it be?
Nate - It will be on S. Bristol Street at the Holiday Inn accross from the Doubletree Hotel. Feb 8th... be there at 7:30. I will be there at that time
Lowtax - Oh, excellent, that is near my space-area zone! It shall be easy for me to attend via automated carriage!
Nate - Great. Glad to hear it. I will be keeping in touch with you the coming weeks. FYI .. you should where business attire... a suit if you have one.
Lowtax - Oh, does it have to be a black suit? I have one, but I spilled bleach on it when I tried to cleanse it in my bathtub (I got pie all over it). I have a light blue suit which I got from my grandfather when he passed into the realm of the lost souls, would that be appropriate?
Nate - Ummm... I'd pass on the blue suit... how about a nice shirt, pants and a tie (oh and dress shoes)
I have to be heading off.... in the meantime check out www.thefutureofbuinsess.com and enter with referall #80484719.. Good to meet you and see you real soon! :-)
Lowtax - OK friend, I can do that! I'll have to borrow my friend Jerry's suit though. He's not my size (he's a lot skinnier), but if I don't button the top and bottom buttons, his shirt will fit. I can hardly wait! This will be a step towards the ultra-zone for financial success!
Nate - Bye, friend!
Lowtax - Bye, Nate! I want this BAD!
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It's just a little confusing, is all.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.