Lowtax - +5 point font on the right too. You can make that easily in Painshop.

Lowtax - Hey, scratch that animated gif idea, can you program in Flash?

Raver - no, not yet why?

Lowtax - I want you to make a game where you have to control the gasoline through a series of pipes and tunnels and get from our building to your car! It'd be way cool, and there'd be hair clogs and rust and fat and bird and pidgeons and gum and clogs and rust and fat that would block the pipes and try to stop you!

Raver - woah, thats to hard for me! I can just use art programs, I dont have Flash or NEthing

Lowtax - And there will be this fat guy who laughs and shoots candy at you through a vaccuum tube that's implanted in his brain. His name will be "CyberJim Bagleaducia" and he'll have 500 hit points. How good are you at programming AI?

Raver - AI???

Lowtax - Yeah, you'll need a full 3D engine too, maybe see if you can get a warez version of the Omen engine from Bioware? Its easy to crack, use L33TW4R3Z 500 nfo crack. You got an ISA transformer for the RDRAM?

Raver - whoa, hold on a sec

Lowtax - Can you program in surround sound? I want support for A3D and Creative Labs. Oh, I'll need a database done too for all the people who buy gas. And a secure server for credit card transactions, do you know any people with one of those?

Raver - hey hold on, i was just going to do HTML!!!

Lowtax - Use Cold Fusion and make it all a dynamic database.

Raver - what/??

Lowtax - and in +5 font. Anrial.

Raver - never mind, I dont know what your talking about!!

Lowtax - It's +5 font for the old people! They cant see too well...

Raver - I KNOW THAT!!!!!

Lowtax - Fine then! No free gas for you!

Raver - i dont even have a car!!!

Lowtax - AND YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET ONE WITH THAT ATTITUDE!!!

Raver - WTF????!?

Lowtax - You just lost yourself a sale, mister!

Raver - IM NOT SELLING NETHING!!!!!!!!!!

Lowtax - AND IT'S GONNA STAY THAT WAY IF YOU KEEP ACTING THIS WAY!

Raver - WHATEVER DUDE!!!!

Lowtax - Is it too late to ask if you want to cyber?

Raver - WHAT?????

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Pranks [ICQ]

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.