Lowtax - YES! It was convention on psychic obscorginia (?) He concluded convention, and began to shake hands when he grabbed the infant and threw him with malevolence at the ground! Then he began to fall over, and he ran away for no reason! It was terrible way to treat fans! Do you understand?
Silver Wolf - Hmm I haven't heard about that before. Sometimes celebrities can be mean in public I suppose. Are you sure it was him?
Lowtax - VERY AWFUL MAN, SCOURGE OF BAD, Art Bell is a furious little man who needs to inject himself with VIABLE TOXINS!!! He is terrible, spiteful man!
Lowtax - so what about Yetis then? Can you help? Do you know??
Silver Wolf - What do you need to know?
Lowtax - I have seen Yetis outside my apartment at night, I think they are Yetis, I dont know why they are here!
Silver Wolf - do you feel any connection to them? Perhaps something psychic? There are connections between aliens and psychic humans.
Lowtax - I become tingly in area behind neck, I think you call it "netherregions". My hairs prick up and eyeballs fill with fluids (?). I feel a connection between myself and Yetis outside my apartment, have you heard of such a phenomenon?
Silver Wolf - Yes, you might want to check out http://www.imsa.edu/~jgable/index.html for some good psychic information.
Lowtax - Oh, great to be of good use, that will come in handy, thank you! Maybe something of Area 51?
Silver Wolf - What about area 51?
Lowtax - I visted there once, on field trip with company to fireworks factory. We saw many things! Strange things of a different nature, you understand?
Silver Wolf - Yeah, area 51 is known for a lot of experimental alien / military tests. did you see anything in a triangle shape? With 3 main lights? And some smaller ones?
Lowtax - no, we saw cactus shaped like Otis Nixon
Silver Wolf - Who?
Lowtax - But then it was night and there were strange humming sounds coming from behind rocks, we thought it was something like electric can opener, maybe refridgerator or microwave toaster. But bus was off! And then Jim disappeared!!!
Silver Wolf - Jim?
Lowtax - He came back and was missing his hair!
Silver Wolf - Area 51 is pretty guarded, how did you get in?
Lowtax - Our bus was yellow, sir!
Silver Wolf - How did Jim lose his hair?
Lowtax - It was male wig, you know, tuperwear I think, you understand? Maybe it fell off when he ran away from his aggressors? I don't know!
Silver Wolf - No, that is a weird story!
Lowtax - I've seen things you would not believe!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.