Fuck yeah cameron hook me up with that ultraviolet version too?? that is crazy!!Waaaaaddddup ladies I hope you all have preorders on your 3d blu ray version of avatar because how else are you going to get it on release day??? Good luck if you didn't preorder that shit. I know I did cuz you know I got to get my featurette on. What what! Is that a lenticular cover up in this piece? Hope it comes with a booklet featuring my favorite pictures from Pandora so I can enjoy that shit on the road.

What I mean to say is SIKKKKEE!! I'm not buying that shit because I tried to watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs 3d and it was fucked up or something. I don't know if its my 33 inch coby or the built in dvd player but it will not work and fuck the wasilla public library they are not getting their copy back since they fucked me over on late fees for roadhouse even though I explained it stopped a knife in a fight at an actual roadhouse. That's got to be like carmax or something.

Anyway I am not here to fuck around with multimedia reviews I am talking politics. So everybody saw that shitwreck with barack obama right? The one where mitch romney yelled at him about 716 trillion medicares and barack obama stared down at his shoes? Yeah, I am a nompartisan dude but I got to take some sides here. America elects the first black president and he comes out with all the swagger of ducky and got chumped by mitch romney. I thought the only competition white guys could beat black guys in still was murderball and yet there I was sitting in a bar with the sound off drinking five lokos (drink I made that is rum, gin, vodka, tequila and crushed up mexican ambiens) and even I knew shit was bad.

if you fuck this one up jobi everybody will be writing "glass joe" headlines about how ron paul knocked your ass outSo round 2 is coming up tomorrow or tonight whenever you print this out and read it on the toilet and this time it's vice president joe biden who I call jobi and paul ryan who I thought is ron paul but I guess isn't (????) or maybe he is. Fuck if I know he looks young and in shape and all that shit but he's got these eyes like he's haunted by secrets.

I'm not saying he drowned some kids just to know what it felt like but maybe like he can't read or he doesn't have a chode and it's just like a ken doll down there with a little metal spigot like on a helium tank for balloons for him to let off his waste. But jobi doesn't have that going on. That dude straight up had his whole family killed in a car wreck and he has all the sadness in his eyes of a puppy running into the kitchen when he hears you come in the door, just slipping around wagging his tail.

But that don't mean he is ready to take on ron paul. That dude knows some shit. Like about audit the fed to know what people are eating and google which is where all the info is or so I have read in maxim magazine several years ago. I have been in a few debates in my life. You might not think it to look at this gorgeous body and ripply muscles sure to make the ladies cry out of their pussies but I am basically the best debater and number one in debate club in alaska. I will teach jobi my methods to level the playing field with ron paul.

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About This Column

Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.

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