This douche is the jo biden dude So this squinty dude Jo Biden is workin with that Obamna guy and tryin to be Veep. I guess hes some sort of homo from New York or some shit. Rides the train all the time. His whole family died or some shit so hes in politics to avenge them like some sort of gayass rambo. Bro, no matter how much socialism you pass for illegal immigrants it cant bring back your faggot wife.

The dude is a total chodelover but the liberal media has it in for mrs. palin on account of she is a hot bitch with fine ass titties and loves guns and babies and shit. The media thinks Trend is her baby, which is cool with me because bitches in the club is like that alien from species. If they know you had a retarded baby with them crazy Chinese eyes they will never hop up on your dick.

Anyway nonwithstanding bitches triflin in the club on my genes the media has this story they made up like mrs. palin is dumb as fuck and cant answer shit. BS. She is smart as hell. If you ask her a crossword she knows that shit like instantly. She is always yellin out shit on jepardy or guessin fuckin wheel of fortune before any vowels get bought. Seriously.

Bitch is scary smart. She knows the capitals of like half the states and the only ones she cant get are those gay ass states like New York or Illinois where everybody knows its New York or Chicago or whatever but then they have a stupid fake capital for tourism.

Springfield? What the fuck is that I want some nasty ass giant pizza and some fuckin tix to see the blackhawks get trashed. Ha ha. AS BORAT WOuld say VERRY NIICE!

Then I saw this Katie Couric bitch with the mean ass eyes lookin at the camera like it just fucked her sister or some shit. She was talkin to mrs. palin and she was like "sara palin, how does russia bein next to alask make you qualified to be Veep?" and mrs. palin was like "bitch, recognize this shit. Fuck yea it does. Fuck yea. Deal with it." Then bitches on TV was all pissed like mrs. palin didnt answer shit.

"Ohhhh I look at the fuckin moon now Im an astronaut"

No retard, you look at the fuckin moon your a moon expert. She didnt say lookin at russia turned her into a russian. Like an astronomer looks at mars or some shit in a telescope and they send rubbers and shit to mars. Oh shit we aint been to mars guess were all dumb as fuck about mars no point even actin like we know shit is there. That shit is why people think the world is flat and believe a human fuckin bein came out of a gorrila pussy.

Oh shit dont let him use the picard manuver FUCKToo bad for those faggots in the news media always talkin shit about mrs palin and all the liberals like obamna, who seems like a badass but I guess hes a fag. Shit he was in a helicopter wearin shades and shit and he looked like a baller but I guess hes JAB (just another bitch). Anyway too bad for all of them. Mrs. palin is at some sort of debate trainin camp. Its like the same shit delta force goes through when they gotta debate somebody like Iran or some shit. I havent heard who is trainin her, but it looks like captain riker from star treck.

everbody knows that dude was rough as hell and would as soon fuck a bitch up as look at her, but mrs. palin is tough as shit. I bet she not only gets on with commander riker but when he starts bustin out his trumpet solo she pulls out that flute and goes to to town on that shit. He'll be like "whoa those are crazy good skills" and shell be like "thanks, but you might want to look behind you" and when he turns to look behind him shell make the deabte point and win the debate.

So look out jo biden. Expect the unexpected!!

Oh yeah and before I go I gotta remind you guys. My nigger Tucker in LA took a shitload of money that the government was giving me and hes gonna shot a porno and then well split it 50/50. Basically its autobigraphical and I wrote all the scripts and shit. Hes castin for mrs palin right now.

Theres a great opportunity for when I come to LA next saturday for you to give me a BJ and then ill pee on you in a Hummer. Don't worry, I dont have to do you in the butthole if yall dont want to. Its up in the air, ya know? If you look like mrs. palin just contact Tucker.

Whatever, well just throw some wig and stupid ass glasses on a fine bitch if nobody shows up.

LATER FAGS!

– Levi "HOckey" Johnston

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About This Column

Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.

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