Remember the happie times, TRipp!!!Here's some BS: you all know how I've been talking about me and Bristol breaking up for a couple weeks?
Well now they aren't even returning my calls and I can't do nothing with my boy, Tripp. Oh, yeah, sure, they let me hang out with Trurok whenever, but Tripp they don't want me "corruption" or doing a neglection on him.
Like they're one to talk. I one time walked in on Todd in the garage and that lactonic motherfucker was jacking up a snow machine using Toots on the front end. Just using him as a load-bearing support or like a little baby sawhorse or something.
ENOUGH! Is that spelled right? It always looks wrong when I spell it. That and threough. I never know what to do with that shit because english is pretty much gay as fuck. We should talk so it makes sense. But that's inside the point.
The main fucking point here is every day is another day I can't get back that I should be spending with my boy, Tripp. That little dude has a perfect head and he can smile and doesn't have those little pointing teeth. He's gonna be a hockey star someday. Maybe an enforcer on the ice turning shit red. But not if Todd queers the whole deal on this. Todd is gonna teach him snow machines and hot tubs and shit.
I don't want my boy learning all that swinging stuff Todd and Mrs. Palin are into. Hey, I'm not a judge of yall, that is cool until yall turn like 58 and then it gets super creepy. You keep asking 20 year olds to come over and spend the night and then you get the gym teacher in trouble, well, say no more. Say no more.
Mrs. Palin and Todd whoreding Tripp from me as usual. Let's just say I got some grit on yall and your habits maybe you should think twice before cutting me off from tripp and turning shit against me like some vampire controller hypnotistic shit.
Sorry but I am red fucking hot here, niggers. I am steamed as shit right now on account of the palins and bristol not letting me see Tripp and making me do it at their house and shit. It is BS. I am sick of seeing larry king and tyron banks and whoever else.
Mom wants me to go on ellen or some shit and Mercede says we need to go on Dr. Phil and I am like fuck that dude what is he always laughing about. Fucking walrus looking bitch if he comes up out of backstage and start guffawding I am gonna lay him out. Called me tooth fairy for a reason.
So I am thinking I should put this column I sometimes write up for yall to some good use for once instead of gay shit. I am going to write like an essay and talk about some shit I can't do with my son. Shit I am forbidding from doing by the palins or circumstance or what have you. These are Tripps formatib years and they are being squatered. That's what Sherry says all the time. She says Tank our lawyer and rep should do a lawsuit so consider this essay my last please to avoid lawsuits.
Because when you think about it lawyers are all pretty much faggots. So we don't want to do that if at all possible. Let's just settle this at Outer Court. So on the next page is my essay to tripp. It's like a letter but more serious.
Is the world ready for Staind By Me, St@nd By e-Me, and Crank 3: Stand By Me?
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.