Also some of you might remember me and bodie got into it with willow palin on facebook a couple months back. Basically my sister and willow palin hate each other way worse now to the point that my sister tried to run over her in the parking lot of the mall in palmer and willow broke into my mom's house where my sister was sleeping and moved all of the furniture around and carved a giant swastika into the ceiling. Well, as you may have guessed, when news broke that Mercede was gonna do playboy willow went apeshit all over again because she was planning to do playboy and I guess is 24/7 ever since my sister caught herpes in her mouth from the boy willow liked.
So willow emails me of course because my stupid email is up on this website. Here's her email to me, I left the address out because the palins are like super into calling the FBI about any email shit or whatever. Anyway, here is what she wrote me:
FROM: willow palin
SUBJECT: YOUR WHORE SISTER
I HEARD YOUR DIZZY FUCKING CUMBAG OF A SISTER IS GOING TO STINK UP PLAYBOY WITH HER QUEEF REEF. GOOOOOD FOR YOU, LEVI. GOOD TO SEE THAT MIS-AIMED PISS YOUR DADDY TOOK IN YOUR CRACKHEAD MOM'S ROAST BEEFY TOILET HOLE TURNED INTO ANOTHER WINNER.
I'M SURE MERCEDE WILL HAVE A FUCKING LOT OF FUN DOING HILLBILLY DRUGS AND GETTING HER BALLOON KNOT TORE OPEN LIKE YOUR MOM'S SSI ENVELOPE. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT THE GROTTO IS GONNA BE GREEN WITH HER SWAMP THINGS. MAKE A LAIR IN THERE AND BREED A WHOLE NEW BUTT RACE AND YOULL BE UNCLE TO A LITTER OF BROWN BUTT BABIES.
CONGRATULATIONS, PISSBIRD. LET BODIE KNOW IF I SEE HIM AGAIN I'M GOING TO MEATHOOK HIS TAINT AND HANG HIS BALLS FROM THE MIRROR OF MY TAHOE.
HEIL FUCKING HITLER
WILLOW PALIN 666
Yuck. But that's cool. Willow can keep sending me this shit and the death threats and talking about fucking me up so bad CSI won't be able to tell if I even had bones inside me. In this vitrollo climate of pundits the last thing we need is people like willow and her mrs. palin. Too bad they didn't inherit their dad's lactonicity gene, minus the gene that makes you want to take pictures of people in parks and keep them for sex reasons. Don't worry todd you will get CC'd when I file this stuff in a federal court for damages and I will include picture of me in a park flipping you confederate double birds.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.