Browse by year:
  • Perfect World

    Perfect World

    I am seriously not trying to pick MMOs from Asia. It just happens. STOP MAKING SHITTY GAMES ASIA!

  • PlaneShift

    PlaneShift

    I have nothing to say about this game other than it sucks shit.

  • Dream of Mirror Online

    Dream of Mirror Online

    Okay so I barely played this game because I got into the WotLK beta. Do you really blame me?

  • Pirates of the Caribbean Online

    Pirates of the Caribbean Online

    We be pirates this bi-week and we are a hardy crew of goons that do something. I can't pull off a pirate imitation.

  • Rumble Fighter

    Rumble Fighter

    Rumble Fighter made me hate the entire fighting game genre. I already hated anime and the Korean game development industry but why did you bastards make me hate fighting games???

  • Requiem: Bloodymare

    Requiem: Bloodymare

    Oh look Korea makes another shitty MMO. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!?

  • PowerUp: The Game!

    PowerUp: The Game!

    I hated this game so much it actually made me want to waste energy. IBM helped make the worst (and possibly only) educational MMO. Jerks.

  • Ruin Online

    Ruin Online

    Seriously though, Age of Conan is going to be a pile of crap. Terrible graphics, Clunky interface, and naked people are the common points of Ruin Online and that horrible game. I don't even mention Age of Conan in my article!

  • Exteel - Stupid Anime Robots

    Exteel - Stupid Anime Robots

    Anime robots are the worst thing on this earth and should be purged in a giant robot holocaust. We already have trash dumps so there should be minimal expense.

  • GunZ Online

    GunZ Online

    Gunz Online is another game that sucks ass. Not to say it is the worst game I have had to review but when you have to rip off Lord of the Rings (even though there is only one ring) for a video game you have gone too far! STAR WARS IS THE ONLY TRUE TRILOGY.

  • ASDA Story

    ASDA Story

    ASDA Story is a pile of crap with stupid crap everywhere. Soulmates and vagina caves couldn't save this game from mediocracy.

  • Kart Rider and Hatemail!

    Kart Rider and Hatemail!

    This time I review Kart Rider which is a giant Mario Kart rip off. The game is pretty horrible but I also included a piece of hate mail to make up for it. May the force be with you.

  • Dark and Light

    Dark and Light

    Dark and Light is basically a pile of garbage that I could have putt together by opening up my butt cheeks and pushing really hard. From now on I will be reviewing REALLY crappy MMOs made by teenagers.

  • Kicks Online

    Kicks Online

    Come join me as I get kicked in the nuts online in Kicks Online! I wanted to eat the end of a gun every minute while playing this game! Hooray!

  • The Sims Online

    The Sims Online

    The Sims Online is still a pile of garbage. This article, however, may only be a small clump of garbage!

  • Manga Fighter

    Manga Fighter

    I can't tell you how fucking much Kidney stones hurt. What also hurt was reviewing this piece of shit game.

  • Ultimate Baseball Online 2007

    Ultimate Baseball Online 2007

    Balls a swingin' with Ultimate Baseball Online 2007. Wait, I meant bats not balls. Heh Balls don't swing in this game.

  • Tyra's Virtual Studio

    Tyra's Virtual Studio

    After Anna Nicole Smith choked on painkillers, the dumbest person on the planet became Tyra Banks. This is her game.

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About This Column

"Free" MMORPGs have grown in popularity to the point of supersaturation. How on Earth can one person possibly play them all and determine the best platform for painfully long level grinding, illiterate online communities, and fatal bugs? MMO Roulette examines a different online "free" role playing game every other week, providing you the lowdown on each. Every chamber is loaded when you play MMO Roulette.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.