Vroooooooom.Drift City has the most ridiculous word censor I think I have ever seen in a game with the ability to mangle ordinary words. For example, "tonight" transforms into "to***ht" and "classy" distorts into "cl***y". The word filter made me seem like a foul mouth Texan no matter what I typed and made communication with others nearly impossible. However, a giant oversight existed in the fact that all I had to do was put spaces in between words to get around the filter.

Drift City adopts the same kind of financial backing as any second rate MMORPG. We are all pretty familiar with the "pay real money for good stuff" kind of process, although in this game those items mostly consist of neon lights for your car or some stupid decal of a company I have never heard of. The catch this time is that when buying an upgrade you only "rent" it and a simple upgrade could cost around four dollars a week. This totals to roughly $16.00 a month, which almost every big name MMO costs.

Run! It's the cyber fuzz!The Goon Ckrew™ found out about a mission for players to deliver a tanker to some factory and upon crashing too many times they would fail the mission. Within minutes a road block was set up on the only route to the factory and goons relentlessly pounded every single tanker that came their way. In fact, when I tried to organize them to take some video footage, they would simply drive away at the sight of a tanker, addicted to the smell of Mitron (the game's fuel and currency).

Since goons are so viciously mean to people in video games, it came as no surprise that many of us received warnings or were banned by the Drift City Cyber Police. Registering accounts costs nothing so we were soon back in business of harassing tanker trailers.

Eventually we forced ourselves out of the game world and entered Drift City's level -1. Upon cruising the ocean and entering an odd area of nothing but sky it kind of reminded me of Mario's Time Machine. You know, the one part where you drive the stupid boat around avoiding mines and picking up mushrooms but for no real reason because you can't figure out what the hell the mushrooms do. At least Mario's Time Machine had mushrooms and whirlpools to give you some sort of false sense of security that there may be something to the game. The endless sea of Drift City's sky resembled a void of space and time where not even the bravest of goons could survive (they went back to crashing into tankers).

Drift City: Worse than Mario's Time Machine.

More MMO Roulette

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.