After a couple years of bitter Internet rivalry I finally met Tom "Moof" Davies in real life (IRL) recently in Seattle. We met to settle our differences face to face, no matter how much blood would spill. Unfortunately nothing was settled. He still believes "Bayonet" is the best name for a horse, though I will not give up my firm belief that "Pago" is in fact the best name for a horse. We also discussed at length the merits of horse tunnels (there have been some staggering breakthroughs in the mystery of the horse tunnel that will soon come to light in a future Daily Dirt).
You will be pleased to know that as of the 20th of June, Tom "Moof" Davies is now a year older and that much closer to his horrifying death. I wish him the best with what's left of his life. HAPPY (LATE) BIRTHDAY MR. MOOF!!!
In addition, this wonderful get-together also sported Dr. David Thorpe and Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen, as well as a large gaggle of beautiful Something Awful Forum Goons. Kevin Bowen's voice continues to grow more handsome and versatile, and David Thorpe's monotone is still as gentle as ever. I wish those two the worst in life. Be on the lookout for possible exciting collaborations in the near future (but not so hard as to forgo looking out for falling objects that may harm you)!
Moof: i was thinking of getting a capybara for a pet
Moof: like a big guinea pig
Moof: that likes swimming :)
Livestock: what would you name your capybara
Moof: captain swimslby :)
Livestock: i think your pet looks sleepy
Livestock: may i discredit it to its face
Moof: if you do that i pull put my fist in yor face
Moof: The name originally derives from the Guarani word kapiÿva, meaning roughly "master of the grasses".
Livestock: the real master of the grasses is a riding lawnmower
Livestock: captain swimslby is but a fake, an imposter if you will
Livestock: he will be brought before the courts of the grasses
Moof: i want a guinea pig :)
Livestock: make up your mind you foolish boy!!!
Moof: if i get a guinea pig i would seriously get a leash for him and take him for walks
Livestock: the hot desert heat would cook him alive
Moof: no in the evening
Livestock: rattlesnakes would eat him, for they are no friend to our small friends
Moof: no please no :(
Moof: please :(
Moof: i really want a pet
Moof: but i seriously cant get over the fact that one day it will die
Moof: it is like befriending a terminally ill person
Livestock: what if you get a pet and you die and your pet lives
Moof: hehehe who would feed it :(
Livestock: no one
Livestock: the pet would have to make his own way out there
Livestock: in the stars
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.