Livestock: write me a story about a helicopter falling in love with a barrel.
Moof: there used to be a helicopter in the town where i lived for a few years in Iceland
Moof: it was a coastguard helicopter
Moof: used for rescues and such and such
Moof: one day it was called out to help some people who were shipwrecked
Moof: and their ship was falling apart
Moof: and it was transporting dogs and so hundreds of barrels of dogs were floating in the sea
Moof: the helicopter noticed one of these barrels that caught it's eye
Moof: it flew down to take a better look and then fell in love instantly and moved to Greece and lived happily ever after and all the people on the boat died the end
Livestock: you're a very good service. your stories make me smile.
Moof: i am glad:)
Livestock: but why were the dogs in barrels?
Moof: because they were being shipped to Iceland PAY ATTENTION SHEESH
Livestock: oh, isn't Greece kind of a gay place to go?
Livestock: did he let the dog out of the barrel or did he love the barrel with the dog in it?
Moof: yes it is but the helicopter was a man and so was the barrel and they forgot about the dog and it died but they buried him in Greece and a beautiful tree grew where he lay
Livestock: that's very poetic
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.