Thanks Bleep for making me aware of this drawing.
Livestock: moof would you like to join me on the high seas
Moof: yes i would like that a lot
Livestock: you and i could hunt and kill the greatest of fish
Livestock: and turtlekind
Moof: yes and sea otters :)
Livestock: we will feast on brine tonight, you and i
Livestock: i think we should name our ship the HMS Pago
Moof: that is an okay name but i think HMS Bayonet would be better
Livestock: yeah that name would be fitting when we stab the beach running ashore under your shady navigation
Livestock: we will be the joke of the maritime press
Livestock: no, we will name it HMS Pago
Moof: HMS Pago is a fitting name for a boat crewed by fools
Moof: if you ever come aboard my ship you will find your grave at the bottom of the ocean
Livestock: your ship? You mean the HMS Bayonet resting on the shore like a dumb whale? No I won't come aboard but i will wave to you from the HMS Pago located a distance out in the water.
Livestock: perhaps i will offer the services of my crewmen to help you wrestle your boat back out to sea when the tide rises.
Livestock: and maybe I can have my navigator give your navigator some pointers.
Moof: hms bayonet has so many cannons that hms pago will be more like hms swiss cheese once i am finished
Livestock: moof i know it's a little late but do you want to try to win the xprize with me and build a space ship???
Moof: yes okay let's do it
Moof: what about spaceshipone already winning it though
Livestock: spaceshipone is a dumb name they will take the prize away and give it to us
Livestock: we will name the ship Pago
Moof: i think we should probably name it bayonet but that isn't important
Livestock: no it is not important at all
Moof: nope so let's just name it bayonet and be done with it
Livestock: well moof i think that if we named it bayonet it would never get off the ground
Livestock: pago will get us more funding
Moof: well i don't really think the name is that important
Moof: so let's just stick with bayonet like we agreed
Livestock: well we didn't agree on anything other than pago
Moof: okay so let's agree on bayonet right now it isn't a big deal
Moof: i dont really mind what the name is so it should just be bayonet
Livestock: i mind
Moof: okay well what do you want the name to be
Livestock: i want the name to be Pago
Moof: okay well it is too late to change it now
Moof: so let's just stick with bayonet and move on to more important matters
Livestock: you know what moof you are the last person i would want to go to space with
i don't want to be the first human to strangle a man in space
Moof: dont worry because i would push you out the airlock
Livestock: moof that's not going to happen because nobody is going to fund a ship named bayonet
Moof: i think it is time we battled
Moof: with cannons
Livestock: there are no cannons on spaceships
Moof: on boats there are
Livestock: moof you beached your ship we are aiming for space now
Moof: oh okay
Moof: then bayonet can have cannons
Moof: pago probably cant because it is stupid
Livestock: MOOF SHUT UP SHUT UP
Moof: STUPID LITTLE PAGO
Livestock: I WILL KILL YOU WITH THIS PIPE WRENCH
Livestock: PAGO IS THE BEST NAME FOR ANYTHING
Moof: LIVESTOCK IS AN IDIOT STOP ALSO BAYONET IS THE BEST NAME FOR A HORSE OR SPACESHIP STOP
Livestock: MOOF I WILL DESTROY YOU IN EVERY WAY, SHAPE, AND FORM
Moof: I HOPE YOU BROUGHT A SPADE TO SPACE SO YOU CAN DIG YOUR GRAVE
Livestock: YOU STUPID FOOL YOU WORE A REGULAR SUIT TO SPACE AND NOT A SPACESUIT, THAT TIE WON'T SAVE YOU
Livestock: you look dapper okay
Livestock: you are dressed for a funeral - YOUR FUNERAL
Moof: thank you :)
Moof: yes :) WAIT
Classic pick up lines for the sleazebag who tends to overthink things.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.